The Light of Destruction
by DarkMeadows1026
Summary: Clary graduated high school with perfect grades, the perfect boyfriend, and plans of college. But her life took a one-eighty when her boyfriend decided to leave her and move on. What he didn't know was that Clary was keeping a secret from him. A secret that changed her life forever. This is an AH story and rated T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: Hey guys! I'm new to FanFiction and this is my first story and I'm pretty excited but very nervous. My sister and many of my friends encouraged me to publish this so I hope you like it. my grammar is not perfect but I try my best. This will be very confusing but there is a reason behind all of this.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments or the characters and I do not own the schools that are mentioned. **

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Prologue:

"Clary Morgenstern," The principle announced in the microphone to call me onstage for my diploma. Today I was graduating high school and as much as I would have probably not admitted a few months ago, I'm actually going to miss it. I met my boyfriend here and I grew up in Los Angles. I'm really going to miss my busy town but I'm going to New York so not that much of a change right? Plus my boyfriend is going with me so at least I'll have a huge part of my life with me.

As I walked up the stage I could hear my boyfriend, my mom, Luke, and a few other friends cheering me on. It faded away quickly though seeing as the graduation was held outside on the football field. I accepted my diploma but something was wrong. Principle Imogen looked at me with pity and I was confused but she quickly recomposed herself and smiled like nothing was wrong. Weird, she never gave pity to anyone and especially not to me or my boyfriend. She knew we were the young "meant to be" type of couple and she always hated us. I personally think the old hag was jealous.

When I walked back downstage and to my seat, I couldn't stop wondering why the principle looked at me like that. Maybe she would just miss me too much and thought me and my boyfriend would break up after today. As the rest of my class of 2014 accepted their diplomas I droned them out to think about my dad and my brother.

When I was only eight years old and my brother, Jonathan, was ten, we all went out to get some ice cream. I remember that day so accurately that I can still taste the ice cream, smell the smell of our brand new Cadillac, and hear my father's laughter. It was pretty late that night around nine thirty and every one was out on the late Friday evening in the middle of summer, partying and drinking. My dad was laughing and distracted at me and Jonathan bickering about our ice cream that he didn't see the truck speeding towards the driver's side of the car. The truck driver was highly intoxicated and the police said no matter what we would have been hit and it could have killed us all.

That night I lost my brother and my dad because they were both on the driver's side. My mom and I only had minor injuries and a deep loss that we can never loose sitting in our hearts. I never visited the graves of my father, Valentine Morgenstern and my brother, Jonathan Morgenstern. They were my family, my best friends, and it would have hurt too much to look at the permanent reminder sitting on the ground that I lost them forever. As if not seeing them every day was not enough and there was no way anyone could have dragged me then or now or ever.

But time heals wounds and as my mom had to turn into a happily married wife of two into a widow of one, I tried my best to be there for her. She eventually got together with her childhood friend Luke and she's finally happy and so am I. He's like a father to me.

When I heard them call my boyfriend on stage I quickly cheered along with most likely the whole student body. My boyfriend was popular and I was proud that he chose me instead of one of the bimbos we go to school with. But who am I to judge, most of those bimbos ended up as my friends. Isabelle for example, she never pegged me for the nice type of person but ended up my friend after a few cookies and a cupcake (don't ask). Yeah, it's going to be really hard to say goodbye to this place.

After everyone had accepted their diplomas and our valedictorian, Jace Wayland, spoke about how we all changed throughout the course of our educational career. He was right, we are truly different people than the little children that we once were thirteen years ago. I looked over at one of my long time best friends, Raphael, and could tell that he wasn't ready to leave either. I don't really think any of us were ready to move on but this is life and we have to take it on.

As Jace ended his moving speech, my class was in an uproar at the milestone we just came through. Everyone got up from their seats and this is the part I was truly dreading. Yes, the boring and very dreadful graduation was over but I'm 5'2 and I'm a year younger than everyone else. When my brother and my father died I put all my effort into my schoolwork and managed to skip a grade in middle school but in doing so, I was always the shortest and the youngest.

My fiery red hair was starting to get in my way and I could no longer see over anyone. I think I saw Sebastian trying to get to me through the endless sea of people but I wasn't sure. But as soon as I spotted Jace with his sister and older brother, Isabelle and Alec Lightwood, I immediately walked over. Jace was adopted by Isabelle and Alec's parents at a young age but he still considered them family and expected everyone else to as well. They ended up being my second family too after spending so much time with Isabelle and being so close to Jace.

"Have you seen mom and Luke," I asked Jace. He only shook his head in response and looked deeply into my emerald eyes.

"No but I can tell there's something bothering you and I know it has to do with your father and your brother. Stop blaming yourself for a second and relax. I'm sure they're really proud of you," he told me. He was right in so many ways and he knew me so well that it scared me sometimes.

"He's right you know, you need to stop blaming yourself. It will only make the pain worse," A familiar voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Sebastian Verlac standing so close to me that I almost face planted his chest. I huffed and turned around clearly not amused that Jace and Sebastian know me so well. I have known them my practically my whole life but they still get on my nerves with all the lecturing. Am I really that easy to read? Of course I am, I blush at any given moment, I draw when I'm nervous, and I practically fume when I'm mad but everyone does that right? The only different thing about me is I blush a certain shade depending on my mood.

I still couldn't see any of our parents anywhere so I just turned back to the group. Everyone seemed to be in an immense conversation with each other and didn't pay me any mind so I walked over to the bathrooms to go change out of my robe. As I was setting my robe on the bathroom sink, I got the sudden urge to be sick so I ran into a stall and poured the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I think the morning heat and the robe was making me so hot that taking the robe off so quickly was giving me intense hot flashes. I quickly flushed the toilet and turned around to splash cold water in my face when I remembered something. Something no one should forget.

I was about to run right out of the bathroom when Isabelle stormed in having trouble with her robe. I stopped dead in my tracks and pretended like nothing was wrong so I could get her out of the robe and talk to her for a minute. Thankfully she didn't hear me puking so at least I didn't have to worry about that.

"Isabelle, do you think later you could help me with a little problem I'm having?" She eyed me skeptically before answering.

"What kind of problem could you be having?"

"I'll explain later but I just need to know you'll help and I may need someone to help me." She seemed to contemplate my offer for a moment before accepting what I was asking.

"Of course, you know you can always ask me for help and I will give it to you especially if It's boy trouble," she winked at me before walking out of the bathroom to join our friends.

"Something like that," I muttered low enough that she couldn't hear me. It was then that I completely saw what she was wearing. It was a spaghetti strap red cocktail dress, accenting her dark, long black hair, just barely above the knees and the straps crisscrossed in the back showing off her tan, broad arm muscles. Her dress was heart-shaped in the front and showed off her perfect sculpted body. She was so sexy compared to what I was wearing which was a simple dark green, strapless dress that also was just above the knee and fit tightly at the top but fanned out near the bottom. It didn't show anything because, well, I don't have the stuffing like everyone else and I'm pale as cauliflower.

Approaching our friends, we realized that our parents finally arrived and looked as exhausted as everyone else. Sebastian and Jace were on the ground glaring at each other every chance they could get. I never understood why they didn't like each other. Alec and his boyfriend Magnus were standing off to the side obviously arguing about whatever they argue about. My mom, Luke, Robert and Maryse lightwood, and the Verlac's were in a deep conversation until they noticed me and Isabelle approach them.

"Finally you guys show up, we were worried we would never get to go home. It's like a sauna out here," Mrs. Verlac complained. Mrs. Verlac was never a happy person and even one of the happiest moments in her son's life didn't seem to bring the joy to her evil soul.

"Yes, it's glad you finally joined us girls. You both look beautiful today," My mother said while having an agreeing response from Maryse.

"They do look all grown up don't they Jocelyn?" She asked my mother.

"Brace yourself," Isabelle silently whispered to me. We backed away watching our mothers dwell in their own sorrow as we turned to the boys on the ground. I noticed my boyfriend was not looking at me very much and when he did it was usually with guilt or with hatred. What did I do today? Is this national confusing Clary day with simultaneous glances? I haven't done anything wrong so I was going to have to sort this out later.

I turned to my boyfriend and asked him, "Are you still going to the party later?" Tonight all of the class of 2014 is going to being going to a legendary Magnus Bane party later to celebrate.

"I don't know," he shrugged. Something seemed off about him. He was fine when I went into the bathroom but now he changed all the sudden. He was giving me the cold shoulder and I didn't like it so I just walked away hoping that I would see him later to get some answers.

"Clary darling how nice of us to join you and what a dull dress you have on! No sparkles, no fireworks, just... you and that's a pity. It would have been so beautiful." I rolled my eyes. Magnus was never one to disappoint when it came to fashion. He would always tell you the honest truth about everything.

"Sometimes not everyone can be a sparkly unicorn like you Magnus," I told him.

"Well I don't believe in unicorns but if they're sparkly then, I guess I can deal with them. Especially with the horn on their head. That would make for an interesting situation if someone were to be bent over and it was mad and..."

"Okay, okay I think I get the very disturbing picture Magnus," I said hopefully cutting him off so he wouldn't continue. Alec looked very amused at our conversation at first but now was looking a little green. Isabelle was messing with something on her shirt and didn't seem to be giving us any mind until she spoke.

"You know Magnus, it's funny how you say that would be an interesting situation when to you, it would be quite normal. Right Alec?" Now Alec looked like he was going to faint and Magnus was slightly annoyed. I gave Isabelle a high five and walked back over to my parents asking them to take me home, promising Isabelle I would see her later. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend in fear that he would get angry with me so I just left him alone.

*-Page break-*

Tonight, I was going to have fun but I'm not sure drinking would be a good idea. I kept feeling sick all morning but it went away so two times in a row of throwing up does not sound ideal to me. Especially since I leave for New York later tomorrow.

I was getting ready in the bathroom, curling my hair, when a knock sounded on the door. I set my curler down and opened the door revealing a very out of breath Isabelle. This wasn't going to be good.

"Time to get gorgeous!" She quickly grabbed my curler and went to work on my hair. I just kind of stood there unsure of what to do because you can't fight Isabelle when she has her mind set on something. She finished my hair but moved me from the mirror so I couldn't see what it looked like.

"I want you to be surprised at what you'll look like. It's not every day you dress up and now we will make you something to remember."

"Izzy, you and I both know I am a hopeless case when it comes to beauty."

"Shut up and let me do your makeup. You are not hopeless," She scoffed. She was right and I knew she was but I would never admit it. As soon as she finished my makeup she put me in a strapless, midnight purple, almost chokingly tight fitted dress that was so short, I was afraid to bend over. It had a bunch of sparkles and resembled the night sky. Magnus would be pleased. To complete the look, she put me in six inch, black Steven Madden heels after my endless voice of protest.

Then, I finally got to look in the mirror. I was shocked. I looked absolutely stunning with the dark gray smoky eye shadow accenting my emerald green eyes and the dark purple dress accenting my dark red, curly hair. I was pleased with the final product.

"Told you so. Now you should be more grateful about how beautiful you really look. Sit down and be careful while I go get ready and don't. Ruin. The dress." I rolled my eyes yet again for the billionth time today and picked up my sketchpad and my pencil and began to draw. I was so lost in the drawing that I didn't hear Isabelle walk in.

"Get up zombie princess you're drooling," She snapped. "We're late and we need to leave, like, now." I immediately snapped out of my trance and saw what I was drawing. It was a picture of me and my boyfriend in New York, happy, older, and we had a little boy which would be our son walking between us. I smiled to myself hoping that would come true someday. I looked up at Isabelle noticing we looked exactly the same except her eye shadow was a bright blue.

"I need to run an errand first. That's part of what I need you to help me with."

"Okay, absolutely, just let me find my handbag and we'll be ready to go."

After five minutes of endless searching we eventually found it and headed to the car. We ran my errand and immediately went to the party. Isabelle didn't do the errand with me but I had a reason. When we went inside Magnus' house I trudged through the sea of bodies, trying to find my boyfriend only to end up empty handed. He obviously wasn't here.

The music was pulsing so hard I could barely form a coherent thought until I spotted Isabelle. I walked over and dragged her up the stairs to the nearest bathroom and sat on the closed toilet seat.

"Clary, what's wrong?" She asked me with concern in her voice.

"This is why I needed you," I told her. I opened my handbag and revealed a box. She immediately looked at me with understanding and let me do my thing. After I finished, I went outside the bathroom to calm myself only to run into my boyfriend.

"We need to talk," He immediately said, dragging me into the nearest bedroom with almost a painful grip on my arm. I had the sudden urge to yelp but held it in looking at the scary expression on his face. He closed the door and turned towards me suddenly looking very calm. Scary calm.

"Look Clary, I wish it didn't have to be this way and I love you so much but we can't be together anymore. I got a call after graduation that I have a full scholarship to Indiana University and they want me to play soccer there so I accepted. I know I told you that we were going to NYU together but let's be realistic. You and I both know this was never going anywhere and that none of it should have happened and to be honest? I regret meeting you. You cheated on me Clary. Did you think I wasn't going to find out? Well I hope your happy because this is goodbye."

I was so shocked that I couldn't form a single word. There were silent tears streaming down my face. I knew I should tell him but I knew he deserved happiness if what I thought was true. Maybe this would be for the best for him and me. For us. He stared at me looking so heartbroken compared to the anger his voice portrayed and then he left the room.

The only boy I loved. The only boy I ever loved just left me. He took my heart, my soul, my virginity and those were things I could never have back because I knew I would never love anyone else. I put my head up though, knowing that I had to be strong. I walked back over to the bathroom and ignored Isabelle's questions. I looked down and started to cry harder.

"I'm all alone Izzy, he thinks I cheated on him so he left me."

"Oh my god you can't do this on your own! I'm going to kill that bastard for being so naive."

"No, I can and I will do this on my own. This is my responsibility and he deserves his happiness."

"You are too kind hearted Clary. Now that he won't be there for you, I will." I looked up and shook my head.

"I could never ask that of you. You have a scholarship to Harvard!"

"Friends come first and right now, you need me." I just gave up and nodded my head while she held me, listening to me cry. I had Izzy now and I wasn't sure if this was a good thing but at least it was a start. I was going to go to NYU and go through collage the best I could. I needed a job and an apartment but with Izzy's help, we'll get it done. I knew my now ex-boyfriend should be happy and he would be without me. That's what he wanted.

I got up and Izzy took me home after discarding our now completed task and I started to pack. Izzy stayed for a while but went home to start on her own stuff as well as breaking the news to her family. She wasn't going to tell them what happened and she wasn't telling them where she was going. We agreed that this would be our secret.

I was heartbroken but I knew this was for the best. I could and I will get through this the best I can. I would never talk to my mom, Luke, Sebastian, Raphael, Jace, the Lightwoods, or anyone, ever again. I need to protect myself and that's what Izzy said was best. Dragging her into this wasn't fair to her but she said she wanted to do this a million times. I believed I was going to be okay.

My life would be better now because I am pregnant and I will do anything to keep my baby safe. No one can know because if they do, I would not want their last thoughts to be of the seventeen year old girl who got pregnant and is now without the father. It would be better this way.

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**A/n: So what do you think? Good, bad, I just need to give up writing all together and live in a cave? It was long for a first chapter but I thought it was necessary. I also know some of it is confusing but I will keep some of the secrets to myself and please know that I have a purpose and a plan for all of this. Review if you want me to continue because I'm not sure if I will or not. I'm open to any suggestions. Thank You! **

**~DarkMeadows1026~  
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	2. New Beginnings

**A/N: Well I got this out way faster than I expected but I really wanted to since school starts back on Tuesday for me. Now I understand how you're confused but that was what I wanted. I didn't want to reveal Clary's boyfriend you will just have to wait to see if it was Sebastian or Jace ;). I know, I'm evil. Thank you for adding me to your alerts and favorites and thank you for reviewing. I didn't expect this much people to like this story to be honest. As for the guest greygirl2358 I really wanted to respond to you because I know how you feel. I get carried away a lot too. The other guest death2luv your review made me laugh so hard I was crying. Anyways, hope you like this chapter! **

5 years later

Clary was sitting in the living room of her and Isabelle's apartment drawing a picture of her son. He was an exact replica of his dad except for his nose and his mouth. He was so tall and very, very smart. She trusted him more than she has ever trusted anyone in her life. Sometimes, it hurts to look at him and remember what she lost five years ago but she also sees what she gained. It was a very difficult situation.

Her son, Kevin, never questioned about why he never had a dad and where his dad was. Honestly, she didn't know where he was. She didn't really want to know either. Kevin had a lot of friends and me and Isabelle expected this considering his outgoing but shy personality. He was only five and he acted much older. Clary was a very proud mother.

"Mommy, we have to leave for practice soon and Carson said that his mom was bringing pizza for later so I'm going to have to go." Clary looked up from her drawing to see her son in his track shorts and Under Armor shirt with his soccer bag casually over his shoulder and his ball under his arm. She sighed, shaking with silent laugher at how much older he looked.

"Yes Kevin, I know you have practice just give me a minute and we'll leave, okay?" I asked, getting up from the chair I was sitting in.

"Okay and mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you," he looked at me with his warm eyes and such love that I almost cried. I don't know what I would do without my son.

"I love you too, Kevin," I said while kissing his forehead and headed to my bedroom. I still remember the day we looked at the apartment when me and Isabelle knew this was the one. The apartment is on the top floor of our building and even though it was the pent house, it was cozy and comfortable. It has four bedrooms and five bathrooms, cherry wood floors that carry everywhere throughout the apartment except for the bathrooms, and a balcony.

Right when you walk in the door you are led down a short hallway that has an arched entrance to the small dining room which is open to the kitchen. As you continue down the hallway you are led to the spacious living room with a separate powder room and a huge window looking over New York. The living room is open to the kitchen with stainless steel appliances and white with dark stained cabinets. The kitchen also has French doors leading to a small balcony with enough room for two outdoor chairs and a table.

On the opposite end of the living room there is a very short hallway that has four doors and a window at the end letting in more natural light. The first one on the left is Isabelle's room, across the halls is mine, next to mine is Kevin's, and across from his is the guest bedroom. All of the bedrooms have a bathroom and a walk-in closet. We didn't need the guest room but we have it for just in case.

When Isabelle told her parents that she wasn't going to go to Harvard, her parents were furious. She eventually lied and told them she wanted to travel the world and see new places. Being the parents they are, they supported their daughter and gave her enough money to start her off. That was enough to pay off the apartment right away and five months' rent. She never kept in touch with them but I kept in touch with my parents. They don't know about Kevin but they do know I'm living in an expensive apartment with a roommate so they send in money every month. Life is good.

As soon as I got to my room I put my sketchpad away in my nightstand, and grabbed my purse and my iPhone. After quickly checking myself in floor to ceiling mirror I had in my closet I decided my blue jeans and blue polo was going to be fine since I had to go to work after soccer. I finished collage but I never got a degree and I work at Taki's, a small restraint in the upper west side of Manhattan. Izzy did the same thing so we could both work together. It pays the bills so I can't complain.

I hurriedly ran out of my room, putting on my gray Vans, and went into the living room to get Kevin. As soon as I walked in I saw him playing the piano like he always does when he knows something's bothering me. I smiled and walked over silently as to not disturb him. I softly put my hand on Kevin's shoulder to let him know I was there. He eventually finished the beautiful piece and turned around and looked in my eyes.

"mommy, I'm sorry that you feel bad. I'm always here for you though. Me and Izzy both." At this point I had tears rolling down my cheeks while I held my son and I told him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. He was a blessing for sure and he was a surprise that had a positive impact on my life.

"Kevin, we need to go so we can get to practice. You're going to be late," I told him. "But after that we have to go to Taki's. Me and Izzy have the night shift tonight."

"Okay, good, is Simon coming? I sure hope so; he has a most of my comics!" I laughed at his frustration. I was an extreme nerd growing up with all the gaming and comics but I never had anyone to share it with. A couple months ago, Simon walked in to Taki's with a comic in hand, glasses on, and his hair dark disheveled. I immediately knew we would be good friends and we were. Simon loved Kevin and Kevin views Simon as a big brother. They always share comics and play games together and I love to watch Kevin have such an interest in something that I was also interested in. It's really good for Kevin to have someone to look up to. Recently though, Isabelle has been talking about Simon a lot and I'm pretty sure they have a crush on each other. That would be so cute.

Kevin quickly picked up his bag and his soccer ball, ushering me out the door, breaking me out of my train of thought.

"Mom, let's go! Let's go! Let's goo!"

"Okay, okay," I opened the door and watched Kevin press the button on the private elevator that was with our apartment. I stood beside him waiting on the elevator to come up since Izzy used it this morning to go shopping. Of course she did. Getting on the elevator I noticed how tall he really was. he was more than half my height and was really strong from his endless soccer practice he's been doing lately. He definitely didn't get his height from my side of the family that's for sure.

Before I knew it we were in the subway on our way to the park where the boys practice. There were so many people that creeped me out in New York, especially on the subway, but after a while you get used to it. I looked over to make sure Kevin was okay and noticed him flirting with an adorable rosy cheeked, brunette girl. She looked around his age and she reminded me a little of myself. Of course Kevin would flirt with her; he's trying to break her out of her shell. That's exactly what his father did to me when we were little.

I immediately put my hair in a bun when we got out of the subway and into the hot, humid air of the summer. New York was extremely hot with all the people and cars and buildings. At first, I was holed up in my room, pregnant with Kevin, for the first year here but then got used to the fact that this was what I wanted when I came here. I got over it.

Kevin spotted his team and quickly jogged over to warm up. Thank the angel we weren't late. I took a spot on the bleachers and pulled out my phone so I could text Raphael and tell him to be here when practice ended. I know I wanted to keep Kevin a secret but two years ago, he dropped in unexpectedly when he wanted to see how I was doing since I didn't keep in touch. When he saw Kevin he was shocked but quickly got pissed off after he realized who's Kevin's dad was. After two hours of exploding about how he was going to "kill the son of a bitch" he calmed down and held Kevin while promising he would help. Raphael was like a father to Kevin. He always looked out for him but we kept our relationship as friends. We never really wanted more and that was fine to me.

He had an apartment fairly close to ours; about five blocks away and he shared it with Alec and Magnus. As soon as Raphael found out about Kevin he told us that they were in town with him because those three were always really close together. Alec and Magnus loved to take Kevin out and go places around New York, shopping was normally number one but that was more Magnus than Alec. They all promised to keep everything a secret and after a while they went under the radar like me and Isabelle. I looked down and noticed that I had a text from Raphael.

Raphael: Do you have to work later?

Me: Yes Izzy and I have the night shift are you going to stay?

Raphael: Most likely I will. Alec and Magnus are really grossing me out

Me: Really? Who would have thought sharing an apartment with a gay couple would mean they actually want to have fun together

Raphael: You're disgusting just shut up I'm going to puke

Me: Sorry I just had to say it

Raphael: I'm on my way right now

Me: Okay their almost finished. Izzy said Simon's going to be at Taki's later

Raphael: Are they ever going to realize that they like each other?

Me: Probably not

I was about to text him again and ask him where he was when he walked up behind me.

"You know, you look so interested in your phone that you'd think that that thing was your new boyfriend." I turned around and glared at him.

"Well considering I was texting you, then does that mean we're together?" I paused for a second and said, "Hello dear, what's for dinner? I was thinking we could have a little take-out then do a have pillow talk," I smirked.

"No, Magnus and Alec first and now you? God help me." I loved picking on him sometimes. After being with Alec and Magnus for so long he promised that he would never get in another relationship again. I don't really believe that but after Kevin I probably won't either. He's all I need to be happy. As I turned around to watch the practice I noticed Kevin scored two goals in a row before the time ran out, putting his team in the win. He ran over to me and Raphael with so much excitement that it put a huge smile on my face.

"Mommy mommy did you see that?! Two in a row! That was so awesome!"

"I know baby, I saw you, you did amazing but you better go get your pizza we have to go soon." He bounced over to the table that was set up and accepted his congratulations from Carson's mom. Carson leaned in to tell Kevin something before letting him come back to us.

"What was that about Kevin?" I asked.

"Carson wants me to spend the night with him tomorrow."

"Well, do you want to?"

"I don't know," he said slowly.

"Why don't you know?"

"Because I don't want to leave you mommy, I know you'll have Izzy but I don't want you to be sad that I'm gone." I laughed at this knowing he was only being silly at this point.

"Go tell Carson's mom that I said you can spend the night and then come right back we really have to go." He rushed over, told Carson's mom and ran right back saying that we should leave soon because we don't want Simon to wait too long. I rolled my eyes at that. Boys.

"Kevin, you're adorable sometimes you know that?" Raphael said.

"Yeah, I know, am I so cute or what?" I was still laughing when all three of us were walking into Taki's. Raphael and Kevin went into the back room to go find Simon. That was the good thing about this place, not many people knew that in the back there was a room with a couch, a computer, and a 60 inch T.V. It was perfect for when I had to work nights.

A few seconds later Izzy stormed in through the bathroom door looking flushed, already in her uniform.

"Izzy, I didn't know you got here early." She ignored my question and said the one thing I didn't want to hear at the moment.

"Clary," she took a breath. "We have a problem."

**A/N: Okay, now what do you think? I know I add a lot of details but sometimes I think that they're necessary. I wasn't particularly happy with this chapter but I guess it will do. I accidentally uploaded it without putting in my author notes so sorry about that. I obviously changed it. I will try to get another chapter out soon but tell me what you think! Most of this comes from the fact that I have a five year old nephew that lives with me and my parents. Some of the things he said came from him as I was typing it and plus, he plays soccer too. Review and tell me what you think! I'm going crazy at how I think this chapter was missing something. **


	3. Problems Causing Problems

**A/N: Well, due to the freak ice storm last night I got a day off of school so I had time to write! After this though I probably won't be able to update until this weekend but I'll try my best. Just know that my update dates will probably be every weekend and Wednesday. But if I have nothing to do then I will update sooner. I know that cliffhanger was mean but I really wanted to leave it at that because now it gets really intense. At least I think it does. See you at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments and I forgot to do this in my last chapter and I have to freaking do this every time. Ugh. **

_A few seconds later Izzy stormed in through the bathroom door looking flushed, already in her uniform. _

_"Izzy, I didn't know you got here early." She ignored my question and said the one thing I didn't want to hear at the moment._

_"Clary," she took a breath. "We have a problem."_

I stared at her for a few seconds before cautiously saying, "What's wrong Isabelle?" She stared at me in the eyes for a moment and muttered something I couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked her. She muttered something a little louder, still too quiet for me to hear.

"Izzy, tell me right now!" I raised my voice.

"Jace and Sebastian are here!" she yelled at me. As soon as she said that my breathing got shallow and I started seeing black spots and I couldn't help but remember something that happened six years ago.

*Flashback*

_It was two weeks since I lost my virginity to my boyfriend Jace. He meant the world to me and I was glad he was my first time. It was everything I wanted especially since I shared it with him. He was so gentle with me that you'd think I was made of glass. We were only juniors but I felt like it was right. We've been dating for over a year now anyway._

_I was so concentrated on playing the night over in my head while I walked to my house from school that I didn't see Sebastian's car come from behind me._

_"Hey Clary," he shouted from the open window of his car, making me squeal._

_"Oh my god Sebastian you scared me!"_

_"Do you want a ride? I was on my way to my aunts and I thought maybe I could drop you off first," I thought for a moment and said what the heck, he was my best friend. But something wouldn't stop telling me this is a bad idea. Jace always told me to 'stay away from Sebastian' but I always thought he was crazy. Sebastian was only trying to help right?_

_I got in the passenger's side of the silver Audi A7 and closed the door trying to calm myself down. Everything's going to be okay so why am I so on edge? I pulled out my sketchpad and was about to start drawing when Sebastian spoke._

_"So Clary, I heard you weren't a virgin anymore." His voice startled me yet again so I had to bend over and pick up the pencils I spilled._

_"Where did you hear that?" I asked him cautiously._

_"Isabelle told me when I noticed you and Jace have been much closer," he said with sadness in his voice. Why was he sad? Wouldn't he be happy that I'm happy? I picked up my last pencil and looked up, about to ask him why he was so unhappy when I realized where we were. We were in a secluded area that looked almost deserted. This is when I start to panic._

_"Sebastian, where are we."_

_"I'm sorry I just wanted to know why him? Why did you have to choose Jace? Don't you see how hard it is for me to move on when I see my best friend, someone I love with someone else?" Someone he loves? Oh no, this is not good. Not good at all._

_"Sebastian I'm sorry that I don't return those feelings that you have. I understand that.."_

_"No, you don't understand and you never will Clary. I just have to make you see and show you who's better." Unexpectedly, he grabbed my face with his hands and pulled me against his lips. It was nothing like kissing Jace. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. He pulled us both to the back seats of the car and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him off of me. I punched and kicked him but with me being so small I was unable do anything. I even bit him but he still kept going so I eventually gave up. I was too traumatized to cry and I just let him do what he wanted. I couldn't move._

_The whole time all I was thinking about is how disappointed Jace would be but I had no other choice. I couldn't fight him. He used protection but not that I cared. I just thought about Jace. I'm not even sure if it was considered rape but it was something of that sort. The thing that made me confused was afterwards when we had our clothes back on and we were sitting in the front seats again, he cried. I was confused but then I realized that he was sorry for what he did and being the person that I am, I forgave him._

_I know that that sounds really wrong and I should have tried to report him but he was my friend and I could see how he wanted me but I didn't want him. He made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone and no matter how bad I felt about doing that to Jace, I couldn't do that to Sebastian. I kept it a secret but eventually told Izzy when we came to New York._

*End Flashback*

"Clary, Clary please wake up. Clary come on you have to wake up. CLARY!" I quickly opened my eyes to find myself on the floor and Izzy above me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You had a panic attack and then you passed out but you're okay." I rubbed my hands over my eyes.

"I really need to get some medicine for this. If I have another panic attack who knows what's going to happen. I could end up in a coma."

"Don't you dare talk like that! That's really ugly to say."

"I know, I know," I sighed. I got up from the floor and fixed my hair back into another bun. Sometimes I get panic attacks from trauma. They've happened all my life since the car crash but Jace would usually calm them down. Recently though since he hasn't been here, they came back. I couldn't help thank the angel that I didn't get pregnant with Sebastian's child. I shivered at the thought.

"Please tell me I don't have to go out there until they leave. I can't do this," I said.

"I don't want to go out there either but we're getting really busy and they didn't see me so hopefully they will be at Kaelie's table for tonight." I nodded my head in agreement but I knew life sucks and I had a feeling this was going to be one of those sucky moments.

"Let's go see which tables we're assigned to," I told Izzy. Good thing we were in the employee bathrooms. That would have made for a very bad situation. We walked over to the schedule in the kitchen and looked to see our tables. The only problem was there wasn't a schedule. I went to find the owner of Taki's, Aline, but she told me that she wanted this to be a break for us and take any table we wanted for tonight. This was going to be awesome! Lol not.

"Maybe Kaelie chose their table," Isabelle suggested.

"What table?" Kaelie said from behind us. She was holding two trays with dirty dishes and fresh drinks. Kaelie was always an overachiever for everything. She humped guys like they were toys then threw them away like trash. She was such a slut that me and Izzy figured that her motto was 'Suck and fuck'. Wouldn't surprise me if that was true.

"The table with the blonde and the dark haired guys," Izzy said with a bored tone. I knew Jace was Kaelie's type and no matter how much that hurt me to know he was probably sleeping around, it would be better not to have them see me or Izzy. It would be better if one of them got her and left.

"Nope, sorry for inconveniencing you but they just came in and I'm already loaded so stop standing there and get your asses to work." She turned around putting the dishes beside the sink and walked out. Great, this was perfect.

"I'll take their table," Izzy said.

"No, it's better if I do this."

"You're working in the kitchen Clary and that's final. Don't argue with me. It would be better so if Kevin comes out then they won't see you or him back here." I was about to nod my head in agreement when Simon came in.

"I'll take their table. I'd like to give them a piece of my mind too but I'll try to be civil."

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked.

"Long enough now give me a tray and Izzy stay as far away as possible so they can't see you." Izzy went out the door and stayed out of their line of sight while Simon grabbed a notepad and a tray to go take their order. Simon knew about Jace and Sebastian but that's what worried me. I just hoped he wouldn't screw this up.

I folded my arms across my chest and watched Simon, from the small window in the kitchen, take their order and walk back. He quickly walked back over and handed them their drinks, managing to spill a little on Sebastian and Jace. It was obvious he didn't do it on purpose because he was so clumsy but it's not like they knew that. I could hear their voices rising as I looked at Isabelle in alarm. She stared wide eyed at me, unsure of what to do when I made the decision for her. I quickly grabbed some paper towels from the kitchen and ran out to the dining area and pushed Simon away and began cleaning up the mess on the table. The voices immediately stopped as all three of them looked at me in shock.

When I was finished, I quickly said, "There, now you can stop being babies and be nice to each other. Excuse us if were out of pacifiers but they're in high demand for ignorant boys like you." I walked back into the kitchen and it wasn't until the door closed that I could feel their eyes off of me.

I went into the back room to tell Raphael that he needs to get Kevin out of here. Of course he wanted an explanation so I had to quickly give him one quietly so Kevin couldn't hear.

"I'm coming back. There's no way I'm leaving you and Izzy alone with them. Who knows how long they'll be here. I'll take Kevin to my place so Alec and Magnus can watch him then I'll come right back." All I could do is quickly nod and usher them out the back door, quickly giving Kevin a kiss on the cheek as I could feel another panic attack coming on. The last thing I saw was the back door closing as they left before darkness took me again.

*Flashback*

_It was our second month in New York and me and Izzy just moved into our apartment. I was 8 weeks pregnant, barely showing, but you could see a tiny little bump forming where my healthy baby was growing. Isabelle had decided to order some take-out and left me to unpack some more boxes. I was unpacking some clothes when a knock came on our door. Odd. No one could get up here without a key._

_As I was opening the door, I almost had a heart attack. My hand instantly went to my stomach when I looked into the eyes of Sebastian._

_"How did you find me? And better yet, how did you get up here?"_

_"Now that was kind of rude considering I came to see my bestfriend." He smiled at me and I opened the door further to let him in. Hopefully I could get him gone and never to come back. But that was just wishful thinking._

_"My father had connections with the professor of NYU and gave me your address. As for how I got in, I told the lady at the front desk that you were my sister." I laughed at that. I knew he flirted his way up here. it's just what he does best._

_"Well, what really brings you here Sebastian I know there's a reason." I turned around to look at him._

_"I know about you and Jace and I was just coming by to make sure you were okay. I don't want you to do anything stupid because he broke your heart."_

_" I won't do anything stupid over anyone. I have a future to live not destroy," I told him. He met my gaze as he nodded his head and looked around._

_"Quite a place you got here Clary. It's really big for just one person. Why so many bedrooms?" I quickly tried to change the subject._

_"Would you like something to drink? I've been unpacking boxes all day and I'm thirsty." I turned around and was hurriedly walking to the kitchen when I slipped. My mind instantly went to my baby when I felt arms catch me from behind. I was quickly put on my feet then I felt Sebastian's arms jerk away._

_"What the hell is that?" He asked me, pointing to my stomach._

_"Sebastian please, it's not like you think.."_

_"He left you alone with a baby Clary, that's pretty obvious."_

_"That's the thing Sebastian, he doesn't know. I didn't tell him. He broke up with me so he obviously didn't want me so I wanted to keep his life happy without me." He blinked a few times before laughing for a little while and turned back to me._

_"Now darling how that would have been excellent on your part if it wasn't for the fact that you were pregnant," now I was confused._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I told Jace that you cheated on him with me. I had enough of you two and I wanted to end it. You just had to get pregnant though didn't you? You ruined it."_

_"You raped me Sebastian!" I screamed at him._

_"You didn't tell me to stop."_

_"Because you wouldn't get off me!"_

_"No, okay I'm done and you better wait my darling because Jace might just find out your dirty little secret."_

_He was halfway to the door before I spoke up, "And by the way, you would have never been the man he was. At least he was bigger," I spat. He spun around and walked right up to me so fast my mind couldn't register to run away before I felt his hand on my cheek and the resounding crack that echoed off the empty walls._

_"You know what? Forget Jace knowing, this will be much better. Plus, as long as he doesn't know about you being pregnant it will bring enjoyment to me when I make sure he never wants to be with you again." Then he had me on the ground but this time, he was hitting me and punching me. I was screaming for help but I knew no one could hear me. The walls were soundproof._

_The next thing I knew I was in a hospital bed, reaching for my stomach. Izzy told me he barely missed my baby and he escaped so quickly police couldn't catch him. We tried filing for a lawsuit but when the court date rolled around, the proof we had against him went missing and the court called it off. I wasn't shocked about this. It was Sebastian after all._

*End Flashback*

My eyes slowly rolled open and my muscles groaned in protest. I was on the couch though how I got here I didn't know. I looked over at the clock to realize that I had been out for an hour. Raphael must have moved me since he should be back by now. I wanted to go out there and find someone but I couldn't will my feet to move. That night was the last time I saw Sebastian and I remember being on lockdown for months after that. Even Raphael didn't handle the news very well knowing Sebastian came from an abusive background but was a sweetheart. They always say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

So what was he doing back here with Jace? I thought they hated each other. But more than anything what was he planning? Raphael walked in as I was standing up and quickly walked over to give me a hug.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you and I know this is hard but I can't seem to get Jace to leave. Sebastian left with Kaelie but Jace stayed behind and said he wouldn't leave until he got to speak with you." That shocked me just a little. I knew Sebastian was planning something but he didn't seem to care that Jace wanted to speak with me. He probably made me look so bad that Jace wouldn't believe me anyway.

I pulled away from Raphael and said, "I'll talk to him." He looked at me with wide eyes.

"No you don't have to do that Clary and you know you don't."

"I know but I have to work and having him there will just distract me. I won't tell him anything about Kevin but I will be civil. He doesn't know so why should I be mad at him? If anything all he knows is lies from Sebastian and he doesn't know he's a father. He has every right to be mad with the information he's been given. He was just not given the truth." He looked at me for a second before agreeing.

"You know you don't have to answer any questions that you don't want to and if he makes you mad just tell me and I'll kick his ass." I smiled and walked out of the back room to the dining room. I looked over to see Jace holding a cup of coffee in the same spot I saw him in before I left. He looked up as if he could tell I was there and he looked... hopeful? I sighed and walked over. This was going to be a long night.

I sat down at the chair across from him, never loosing eye contact. He looked different than when I last saw him. His golden eyes looked dull and his blonde hair was a little darker. There were bags under his eyes that weren't bad but noticeable. I probably have bags too but that was mostly from Kevin and sleepless nights at Taki's.

"You look different," I decided to say after he was making no move to start a conversation.

"Same to you," he answered.

"I heard you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes, I do. These past few years haven't been easy for me Clary. Not to mention Sebastian is always telling me things about you. I just want to know the truth." I shuddered when he said Sebastian's name. I'm pretty sure Jace noticed the sudden movement.

"What do you want to know?" I still wasn't sure if I was going to tell him the truth about what Sebastian did to me.

"What happened with you and Sebastian? And when?" I took a deep breath and decided what I was going to say.

"I'm not going to elaborate to you about it all because it still haunts me but the first incident was junior year. To get to the point, he raped me because he wanted me to see that he was better than you." Jace stilled. "It was two weeks since you took my virginity when that happened," I looked down at the table so he couldn't see the tears forming in my eyes.

"I guess the second time he did something to me was the night you broke up with me. I know he was the one that told you I cheated but I obviously didn't." At this point there were tears rolling down my cheeks as I remembered the reasons why I was so hurt about the breakup. Sebastian didn't really know how he planned that perfectly and hurt me not only because I lost Jace. because Jace lost his son.

"And then the last time was the first month here. He came to me and wanted me since you were gone and let's just say I ended up in the hospital." I could hear his sharp intake of breath as I finished. I folded my hands in my lap and looked up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. He looked defeated and concentrated. He was probably deciding if he should believe me or Sebastian. Then his expression turned hard and he started studying me closely.

"That's not the whole story."

"I told you I wasn't going to elaborate."

"That's not what I meant; you're keeping something from me." There were alarm bells going off in my head but I kept my face expressionless.

"No, there isn't." He looked at me for a moment before a sense of calm went over his face.

"Well, I better get going. I have to finish unpacking all my stuff into my apartment."

"You moved to New York?"

"Yeah, after I found out that Alec and Izzy were here I wanted to see them again. Sebastian is only staying to help me unpack and then he goes back to LA. I guess they really moved out here for you though and that makes me happy that you had them with you." He had no idea.

"Thanks," I said. He stood up, putting money on the table to pay for the bill and was about to walk out the door when he turned back around and looked at me.

"And you know what Clary? I don't want you to be a stranger to me. I want to figure out what you're keeping from me because I can't live my life without you anymore." I knew I wanted him back and he wanted me back but I can't for the sake of Kevin. How would Kevin react to seeing his father for the first time? The man that broke his mother's heart. There's no telling until it happens. Jace turned around, walking out the front door of Taki's. It wasn't until he was out of sight that I finally looked away.

**A/N: Now, I hope this satisfies your needs. I really enjoy writing this story and I can't stop but you guys have to tell me do you want more or Kevin? There will be places where he has to be but for the majority he doesn't have to be there but it's up to you. What do you guys think Sebastian is planning? Let me tell you it's a little evil so think evil thoughts. On that happy note I hope you liked this chapter and please review if you want to see Kevin or not. I don't know until you tell me! See you soon! **


	4. Avoiding Problems

**A/N: I'm back! It hasn't been that long but to me it has. Writing is my escape and I have been preoccupied recently with school and other things but I promised this weekend and here I am! This was more or less a filler chapter setting you up for what's to come so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns the Mortal Instruments but kevin is mine! MINE! **

Dawn was slowly approaching when I felt the sliver of cold air hit my legs under the covers. I felt Kevin get in bed and slowly curl himself in my arms. He slowly looked up into my eyes and I stared into his golden, honey brown eyes with a tint of green. His strawberry blonde hair was tousled like he had a restless night of sleep and has been rolling around on his pillow.

"Kevin, this is your third night in here. You need to stop worrying that something is wrong. Mommy is fine."

He shook his head, "No, I know something's wrong and I don't want my mommy sad. You always make me happy when I'm sad so I'll do it for you too." I smiled at his worried words. To some people, children were burdens but to me, they were blessings.

"Okay fine," I kissed his forehead. "You can stay but remember you can't be a worry wart forever little man." I closed my eyes, breathed in a deep breath, and tried to get some sleep. It had been two days since I saw Jace and ever since then I have been so overcome with the past that I haven't been able to focus much on the present. I knew I was walking around like a robot and sometimes I couldn't even remember what I was doing and where I was. Kevin had been noticing this change in me and ever since has been very persistent to make me feel better.

Today I was going to finally compose myself because I know that Kevin doesn't need to worry about me. I should be worrying about him for goodness sake not the other way around! So in order for him to stop worrying about me I called Macy, Carson's mom, and set him up to go over there again and for her to take him to practice. The other day when Kevin went over there he had such a fun time that I knew that he needed to do it more. Luckily for me she agreed.

Little did they know though that I was also doing this because Izzy, Alec, and Jace were going to eat dinner at the apartment and Kevin couldn't be here. Me, Raphael, and Magnus were going to do our own thing since this was for them and we didn't want to be in the middle of all three of them. But Alec and Jace better be happy I'm making dinner and not Isabelle. No offense to her but her cooking was atrocious.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep until I felt someone shaking me awake.

"Mommy wake up Raphael's here and he made pancakes!" Kevin squealed. That was all I had to hear as my eyes shot open and I moved Kevin off of me.

"Get out of the way I call first dibs!" I called as I heard him laugh and run after me, both of us barreling down the hallway. As soon as we reached the kitchen I sat down at the kitchen island and dug into the delicious, gooey, goodness.

"I don't think I've seen you run that fast since Black Friday and they had art supplies for half off. That was definitely impressive to say in the least."

I glared at Raphael for a second while chewing my pancakes and said, "Don't get your panties in a wad because the next time you see me running I will probably have a knife and it will be coming towards you."

He blinked and then held his hands in surrender, "I give up, you win. Just please don't kill me. You would be so lost without me and my scrumptious pancakes." He said dramatically. I just rolled my eyes.

"Scrumptious? Where'd you learn that one? Magnus the magnificent? If I didn't know you as well as I do, I would probably think you drop your soap in the men's locker room if you know what I mean." I winked at him and began eating again. I couldn't wipe his mouth, open in shock, out of my head. Priceless.

"Done," I heard Kevin say as he picked up his empty plate and carried it to the sink. "Thank goodness I'm finished; I don't know how much more I could take of you two. It's just a shame." He sighed as he shook his head and walked into the living room to watch TV. Me and Raphael burst into laughter.

When I could finally compose myself I told Kevin, "You need to get dressed soon, it's eleven o'clock and you have to be at Carson's at two."

"I know mommy." He lazily said as he was watching his cartoons. I shook my head and smiled at my adorable baby boy.

I turned to Raphael, "Could you get him dressed please? I need to pack his bag and get dressed myself."

He nodded his head in response, "Come on little man let's get you dressed." He picked Kevin up and put him on his shoulders, carrying him upstairs. I smiled at how grateful I am to have everyone that always helps me with Kevin. I don't know what I'd do without them.

I put my plate in the sink and walked upstairs to get dressed. I could hear Kevin giggling from his bedroom. For the day, I picked out a pair of black shorts and a purple crop top with lace that covers the whole top. After I took a shower and got dressed, I scrunched my hair so my curls would have a wavy look. Then, I put on my purple converse and as I was putting on my left shoe I noticed it was one o'clock. They need to leave soon. I walked to Kevin's room, silently thanking the angel that I had a boy and not a girl. They're much faster to get ready.

Immediately when I walked into Kevin's room I noticed that it was spotless clean. Kevin can't stand a mess for too long. He has to have everything in a certain container and everything has to be organized. And again, he gets that from Jace. But he did inherit my artistic skills and for a five year old, he's really good. I looked over to see Raphael and Kevin playing Call of Duty on his Xbox and as usual Kevin was winning.

I let them continue playing and didn't bother them since they didn't know I was in the room yet. I got out Kevin's soccer bag and put his ball in the bag with his cleats and his uniform. I got out another bag for his clothes and packed his pajamas and clothes for tomorrow along with his toothbrush, toothpaste, and his comb. By the time I finished I noticed it was one fifteen and Kevin needed to leave soon so he can get there by two. New York traffic was a killer in the summer.

"Hey dorks, you need to get going." I said to get their attention. I scared them both since they didn't know I was in the room.

"God Clary, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Raphael asked.

"No, I'm trying to get you off your butt." I told him.

"Is it time to go mommy?"

"Yes, you need to leave now or you'll be late and you won't get much time to play with Carson."

"Come on Raphael let's go!" Kevin told Raphael. Thank goodness Kevin was happy and not worried about me for once. Kevin grabbed his soccer bag and his overnight bag and grabbed Raphael. Running out the door Raphael said he would be back soon and then they were gone. I sighed in relief that Kevin was taken care of and now I was set to the task of making my homemade Fettuccine Alfredo.

When I got to the kitchen I got out all the necessary ingredients to cook the dish and I got to work. As I was getting out the butter I wondered where Isabelle was when she snuck up behind me.

"Fettuccini Alfredo! Yes! My favorite." I screamed, almost dropping the butter from my hand. This was seriously karma from earlier.

"Where did you come from?" I asked her.

"I went over to Simon's for a little while. He wanted to show me his new game." This was interesting.

"Izzy," I started. "Are you and Simon dating?"

She bit her lip, averting her gaze, before answering, "Yes, but please don't tell anybody. No one's supposed to know yet." I squealed and ran over to her to give her a big hug.

"I promise I won't tell but I'm so happy for you! I've been waiting for this since forever!" We both smiled at each other and got lost in a deep conversation while I cooked dinner. Eventually, I heard Raphael come in and walk into the kitchen.

"It smells delicious in here," he said.

"Thanks, how did it go?"

"Good, he went on in and they were already playing something on the Xbox by the time I was out the door."

I laughed, "Well that's good."

"Do you need any help?" he asked. I was making the salad at the moment and I had much more things to cut up.

"Sure," I moved over so he could help me. I finished the Alfredo and all I had was the salad left then I had to go put some makeup on and fix my hair. My clothes were fine since we were just going to a small restaurant and a movie.

"Well I better go get ready. Alec, Magnus, and Jace will be here soon. Are you sure you're okay with Jace being here Clary?" Isabelle asked.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, as long as he doesn't go into Kevin's room we're fine." She shook her head in response and left the room. We didn't have to worry about toys or anything of the sort. Kevin was neat and organized so he kept everything in his room.

Me and Raphael finished the salad and we were in my room. He was sitting on the bed watching me put on my makeup. I was finishing up before he spoke.

"Are you okay?"

I sighed and turned around, "No I'm not. Ever since I found out that he lives here I've been so on edge about Kevin that it's really stressing me out." I told him honestly and turned around. He silently walked over to me and gave me a hug, kissing my forehead as he pulled away.

"I promise I won't let anything happen to you or Kevin, ever. You two are my family." I looked into his eyes and saw that he was telling the truth. I smiled and decided what I needed to do. I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed him. He was surprised at first but eventually returned the kiss. If Jace didn't have my heart, I would probably be with Raphael.

When we finally broke away, I looked deep into his brown eyes and said, "Don't ever leave me, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'll never leave Clary you don't have to worry about that," he said while stroking my cheek. I smiled up at him knowing that even though we just shared an intimate moment, we were still friends. That was the special thing about Raphael; he would always just be my best friend no matter what we did. I would never have with him what I have with Jace but that doesn't mean I can't kiss someone every now and then. I was about to walk out of my bedroom when I was thrown over Raphael's shoulder.

"You're not coming down until you're happy again," he told me.

"Put me down now!" I yelled at him, hitting his back with my fists.

"No," he said while spinning in a circle making me dizzy. I started screaming and giggling.

"This isn't funny!" I yelled as he ran into the living room.

"Then why are you laughing?" He asked while spinning again. I was laughing so hard that my stomach was starting to hurt. He finally laid me on the couch, both of us laughing too hard to stand. After we finally calmed down we heard someone clear their throat.

"That was interesting," Magnus said. I looked up to see Izzy, Alec, Magnus, and Jace staring at us. Seeing all their expressions I started to giggle.

"See," Raphael said, turning to me. "I told you it would make you happy."

"Shut up dork," I said while lightly punching his shoulder. I got up from the couch. Magnus and Alec were already talking to each other and Izzy and Raphael were putting the food on the table. Jace was just standing there awkwardly so I walked up to him.

"Hey," I said.

He looked up, "Hey."

"So what do you think?" I asked, referring to the apartment.

"It's really nice, I can tell you picked it out since there's such a beautiful view of the city."

"Yeah that was my favorite thing about this place," I told him. He looked around for a second before his gaze met the piano in the corner of the living room.

"That's a gorgeous piano. Who plays?" He asked.

"No one, it came with the apartment," I lied. The piano was actually Kevin's fifth birthday present. Jace looked at me for a second before he nodded his head. I knew he played because I've heard him before. Sometimes, I would crave to hear his music more than I would anything. I would have let him play but Kevin doesn't like anyone but me to go near the piano.

"Clary, let's go we're going to be late!" I heard Raphael yell.

"I better get going, see you later Jace."

"Bye Clary." I quickly walked over to Raphael and Magnus as we headed out the door. The whole time while we were out I couldn't focus on anything as my body wanted to go back to the apartment and beg Jace to play something. Kevin was really good at playing but every time Jace used to play for me, it would share a silent meaning to both of us.

By the time we were back to the apartment, the lights were out and it was silent. Raphael brought me home and Magnus was already on his way home. I went into my bedroom to change into my pajamas and get ready for bed. I was truly exhausted.

"Do you want me to stay?" Raphael asked as I was getting into bed. I nodded as he took off his shoes and got out a pair of sweat pants from my closet. He would usually stay sometimes so he kept some clothes in my room. He slid into bed and got under the covers, holding me close. I breathed in and finally went to bed with someone I trusted the most.

**A/N: So what do you think? I know Clary and Raphael are having their moments but my sole intention is for Jace and Clary to be together. Trust me. Now that you all know that Jace is Kevin's dad then the next chapter is going to be in Jace's perspective and we'll finally see Jace to be back to his old cocky self. That's the Jace we all know and love. I'm a little upset at the moment because my sister ran over a puppy and I cried for half an hour so review because it makes me happy! Please? It makes me supper happy when I know someone follows or favorites my story too. I really want a beta because my writing can be really crappy and messed up sometimes so any volunteers? I might be able to get another chapter tomorrow night but it just depends so let's just say Wednesday for now. Thank you all for reading! **


	5. What Am I Doing?

**A/N: Okay so I felt really bad about not getting this out yesterday but an emergency came up and I had to be there and I had it written and ready to post! I was so frustrated and plus, I was not generally happy with this chapter towards the end but for now, it's going to have to do. As for ButteryHighlights (love the name by the way) I would love for you to look over my chapters! I was going to PM you yesterday actually but that didn't work out so well. Anyways, I'll leave you all to read, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Cassandra Claire owns the Mortal Instruments and I don't which is very depressing to say in the least. **

**Jace POV:**

Giggling. I could hear giggling from the other room. No, not just anybody's giggling. it was her. I cringed as I could hear Clary from the other room probably laughing at something Raphael said. Izzy wanted me to stay the night last night so I could at least try to be friends with Clary again. Yeah right, like she'd ever want me as a friend after what happened when we broke up. It would be extremely hard to be with her and be only her friend because God only knows how I want to be more than friends with her again.

I rolled out of the tangled sheets on the guest bed in Izzy and Clary's apartment and put on my clothes. When I began to make the bed I could hear Cary giggle again but it sounded off, not like she used to sound. Almost unhappy. It made me mad nonetheless that the stupid bastard, Raphael, was around her all the time making her happy when that should have been him. She was his dammit. Wait what? No Jace you can't keep thinking like that. You were the one that broke up with her remember? Like I could ever forget.

I ran my fingers through my hair and opened the door to step outside into the hallway. I looked into Clary's room to see Raphael's stuff in her room. He must have spent the night and that made his blood boil at the thought of Clary in another man's arms. He was about to walk into Izzy's room and get her up so he wouldn't be alone with them two but instead found himself looking at the door to the room beside Clary's. The door was closed and Izzy said to not open it under any circumstances because that was a private room for private eyes only. That only made his curiosity worse.

He was reaching his hand out to the knob and was slowly twisting it until Raphael appeared behind him.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked. I turned around to see him in sweat pants and no shirt. Go figure. When he looked into his eyes, though, he could see fury in them. Almost like if Jace went in that room, Raphael would have to kill him. Odd. What was behind this door that was so much of a big deal that he couldn't look? As Jace realized he hadn't answered his question, he went with his normal Jace charm.

"Looking around of course, is that so much of a problem?" he smirked.

"Yes because this isn't your apartment and if you were told to stay out, you should listen. Why are you even here anyway?" he said with venom dripping from his voice.

"Sheesh, don't get your panties in a wad. Izzy wanted me to stay the night. Why did you come up here? Trying to see me naked? You should know that all you had to do was ask. I don't typically roll that way but I can't help show off all my good looks," I winked at him.

"Oh god just shut up. You haven't changed a bit have you?"

"Not even a bit. Now if you please excuse me, I'm hungry and I'm going to eat." I was almost to the living room when he called out to me.

"Jace?" I turned around looking at him standing in the doorway of Clary's room.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you really here?"

"I wanted to see my family again." Raphael flinched at the word family.

"Well I'm telling you right now Jace Wayland that if you think you're going to get Clary back your mistaken. You broke her to pieces and I won't watch that happen to her again, especially by you. You missed out on more than you can ever imagine and soon when you find out, you'll probably walk away again and hurt her more. You better watch your back." And with that, he went into Clary's room and closed the door. I shook my head at his threat. Like I would ever leave Clary for anything ever again. I kept telling people I was here for Alec and Izzy and that was true but I was mostly here for Clary.

This is exactly why when I got to the kitchen, my spirits immediately lifted when I saw her. I was watching her concentrate on her drawing, a strand of red hair in her eyes that took all my self-control not to push it out of her face. After she realized she wasn't alone in the room anymore, she looked up and stared at me with her emerald green eyes.

"When did you get here?" She sounded surprised but I didn't blame her. She didn't know I stayed the night. I didn't want another one of our conversations awkward again so I decided to be myself for her like I used to be.

"I stayed last night in the guest room after Izzy begged me to stay." She giggled and this time, her laugh sounded real again.

"I'm sure she begged you to stay. More like told you." She made quote marks with her fingers when she said 'begged.' I put a hand over my heart and faked looking hurt.

"How dare you think that I ever listen to anyone," I crossed my arms over my chest. "I do whatever I want and no one can make me do anything." She giggled again.

"You look like a stubborn little boy Jace. Keep it up and we might need to worry about your health. I'm pretty sure you're not five," she joked.

"And how do you know how I would be if I was five? For all you know I could be acting six." She paled for a second before composing herself again and shook her head. It felt good to actually act like myself again. It's been so long since I've actually talked to people without being a complete and total ass. I know I'm an ass in general but ever since I haven't been with Clary, I made everyone hate me to protect myself from heartbreak again.

"So what are you up to today?" She asked me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Nothing I don't think. Maybe I can hang out with Alec and Magnus later." I heard Raphael enter the room and snort.

"Those two love birds can't keep their hands off each other. You might want to rethink your game plan." Wow, have they gotten worse? Seems like it the way he was talking. It was also strange that Raphael was being nice to me for the first time since I got here but I'm pretty sure it was just for Clary. My suspicions were confirmed as Clary returned drawing and Raphael sent me the evil eye. I just raised one eyebrow and rolled my eyes. He scoffed and left the kitchen, leaving me and Clary alone again. What a fucking pussy for always walking away.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." Clary suddenly announced after sneezing pretty hard. This was a shock to me. Clary always stuck to her drawing until she finished even if she had to use the bathroom. I guess Raphael was right and things really do change. She closed her sketchpad and ran into the living room to use the attached powder room. I chuckled at her and how fast she was going to make it in time. Women. I'll never understand them.

I pulled out a chair at the island to sit down when I noticed that she left her sketchpad on the counter. I was curious to look in it but knew it was wrong. Clary always let me look at what she drew when we were dating but would constantly tell me how she only let me look at them. I couldn't help it. I had to look and see her drawings and see her thoughts. But usually though she would just draw what she would see around her.

The first page that I looked at was dated about five years ago, two days after we broke up. It showed a girl all alone with shadows around her that had hands reaching out to grab her. The picture was dark and sinister but I couldn't see her face. I flipped the page and saw it dated about a few months later and I saw the girl again and couldn't see her face. She was badly bruised and was in a corner with her legs hugged up to her chest and her head rested on them. The shadows were there this time again and were reaching further to grab her. The next picture was just a few months later with the same girl and her bruises were gone and she was standing, facing the shadows with her hair covering half her face. She was holding something in her arms. The bundle against her chest was colored bright and vibrant and was the first sign of color in all of her pictures he's seen so far. The shadows seemed to start to retreat at the sudden ball of light almost like it was pushing them away.

What he saw next was what made him confirm his assumption. Dated a few weeks later, the girl was in a chair, rocking her ball of light and her face was pointed down, looking at the bundle. At that moment he realized it wasn't a bundle at all that it was a baby and the baby was shining brighter, making the shadows disappear. The next picture he saw was dated a few days ago and it showed a boy, the baby now grown up a little, at a piano. The girl had her back turned to the picture and was cocking her head to the side a little, tentatively listening. What was puzzling was that the piano and the boy looked so familiar but he was positive he's never seen the boy before.

The last picture was the one she was drawing today. The girl was back in it with her head in her hands as she was standing at a crossroads. The left one had three people, her, the boy and someone else, walking away together and you could tell they were happy by the way the road was drawn, with happiness. On the other road, it was dark and it showed her crouched on the ground with the little boy hovering over her and looking down in defeat. The other person was walking away but didn't act sad about leaving them there. There was a sign above the girl at the beginning of the crossroads that said 'what is good can be evil and evil can be good but must let fate decide what is pure and what isn't meant to be.' That's when Jace realized the girl at the beginning must be thinking of the outcomes of a choice she will make.

Before he could think any more about what he was seeing he heard Clary stumble into the kitchen, almost falling on her face before she righted herself. I quickly put the sketchpad where it was currently occupied before I picked it up and watched Clary sit down. I wasn't sure if Clary saw me looking in her sketchpad or not and I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. I really wanted to ask about them, badly.

"Hey Jace?" Clary asked.

"Yeah?" I hesitated, hoping it wasn't about the sketchpad.

"I'm really hungry and I mean, I skipped breakfast and everything but now it's lunch time and there's no food and-" she trailed off.

"Let me guess, you want to go out to lunch? I completely understand, I'm starving too. What about Raphael?"

"He's leaving soon." She played with a string on her shirt and looked down at her shoes as she spoke. I walked up to her and lifted her chin to look at me in the eyes. I heard her intake of breath and it made my heart beat faster.

"You don't have to be nervous Clary, I know when we last saw each other it was really bad but I really want to work this out with you," I ran my hand through my hair. "I know I screwed up and I understand if you don't want to speak with me again but just give me this one chance please, I just want to make it right. I can't live without you." She stared at me for a second and I thought she was going to tell me to go away before she pulled me into a hug. I immediately put my arms around her and laid my head on her shoulder, feeling at peace. We both sighed in comfort at the familiar feeling of one another.

When we eventually pulled away, I saw that she was crying. I quickly wiped them away with the pad of my thumb and rested my forehead on hers hoping that calmed her down like it used to. I know I was being way to touchy and moving really fast into this but I couldn't help it and I could tell she couldn't either. It's been too long.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked her.

"Nothing, I just really missed you Jace." I pulled away and looked at her in the eyes, giving her my sweetest and most sincere smile.

"I really missed you too." She smiled back and then we decided to leave because our stomachs were protesting. On the walk to Taki's, she would tell me all about New York and the great things about this city. I couldn't help that the whole time she was telling me about this place, I felt guilty. Guilty about leaving her to come here alone when we were supposed to get to know this city together. Guilty about all the things I gave up. Where would we be now if I hadn't left? Would we be in a relationship? Married? Children? No, scratch that last one. I won't want kids for a long time. I had a lot more to do in life for now and one thing would be getting back with Clary. All these years I was so torn with trusting Sebastian and trusting Clary but when she told me the rundown version of what happened just looking in her eyes told me she was telling the truth.

Sebastian had his hands on her trying to take away what was mine. She was mine and I'm not afraid to admit that I felt like she belonged to me and yes, that sounds possessive but I loved her. I still do. That's why if I hear Raphael had his hands all over her too, shit's going to go down but Isabelle told me they were just friends so I hoped that was true. Clary may not admit it but deep down, I know she still loves me too. I know her too well to know how she feels and that's one of the things Raphael was wrong about. I still know Clary.

As we approached Taki's I started to think about how I was going to get revenge on Sebastian for what he did. He left this morning but I can still find him. I know I'm going to have to do something to the son of a bitch.

I opened the door to the casual restaurant and let Clary go in first. She sprinted towards a booth and eagerly sat down and waited for our waitress. I chucked at looking at her run for the second time today, it was adorable.

"What are you laughing about," she playfully asked me.

"You, I'm pretty sure if you run like that again the cuteness is going to be through the roof."

"Shut up! I can run I'm just prancing like a lady should." I burst out laughing.

"Prancing? Really," I took a breath. "You do not act like a lady any other time."

"And how would you know?" She put her hands on her hips. I just raised an eyebrow and she scoffed.

"Some things really don't change do they?" She asked me.

"No, they really don't." We ordered our food after our waitress, Kaelie, came and got our order also reminding Clary that she had to work tomorrow. I'm pretty sure she was the one Sebastian brought home the other night but I wasn't paying attention to anything other than Clary that night. We joked and talked for a while before I realized it was two and the day was going away so fast. Clary was currently drinking her chocolate milkshake, texting someone furiously. As soon as she was finished with the text and waited for the reply, I decided to ask her the question that was itching at me all day.

"So Clary," I cleared my throat.

"Yeah?" I took a breath.

"Is there anything going on between you and Raphael? I don't mean to sound intrusive or anything you don't have to tell me I'm just curious." I looked down at my hands and waited until she spoke.

"No, it's honestly fine Jace everyone thinks we're together and we're not. Yes we may kiss each other sometimes or sleep together but just sleep nothing else," she quickly added. "I could never be more with Raphael because you have my heart Jace." I looked up and for the millionth time today I stared into my favorite pair of green eyes. I was upset that Raphael and her kissed, no matter how lame that is, but I was glad that she still loved me too. She looked down at her hands just like I did a moment ago.

"Jace there's something I have to tell you and we won't work out or be happy or ever have a chance to be in a relationship again if I don't tell you. If you don't want to be together after this then that's fine with me, you can walk away." I blinked for a few moments.

"Nothing Clary and I mean nothing will ever make me leave you again. I just can't do it." This seemed to give her some confidence in herself as she took a deep breath and opened her mouth but no words came out because Izzy came in at that exact moment.

"So what are you guys up to? Heard you and Clary are catching up so that reminded me that I want to take you out shopping today Jace. This is the city and I'm totally making you catch up on fashion." My mouth was wide open. Izzy never, ever, made me do anything with her that involved fashion. I dressed fine and I know I did, but with my looks I could be wearing a sheet and no one could care. Clary just looked at her, eyes wide with shock as well and her fingers nervously tapped the table.

"What are you doing?" Clary asked Isabelle.

"You know exactly what I'm doing." Then this exactly made since. The person Clary was texting was Isabelle and she was coming here to stop her but why? What was she about to say? Did Isabelle not think she was ready to tell me what she needed to say?

"Well then I'll be on my way, bye Jace!" Clary called before running quickly out the door. I turned to Izzy.

"What was that about?" I asked angrily. "Can't you just let her get it out! Now she won't be able to tell me!" Isabelle sighed.

"I know which is exactly why I did it. I think it would be better if she waited for a while. Trust me Jace you have no idea what you have done. Yes both of you had broken hearts but Clary had much more and you'll find out soon enough." I slammed my hands on the table and stood up.

"She is not walking away from me again and I won't let her. I don't care what it is." She just shook her head.

"Jace you should know better than anyone that Clary can't emotionally handle things very well. Her blackouts got very bad since you have left and they only get worse as time goes on. Give her time to calm down." I stared pointedly at her.

"She said I deserved to know this, that I deserve to find out so why are you trying to stop this? Do I not deserve to know? Why don't you tell me?" She just sighed.

"Yes, you do but I can't tell you. She has to."

"So what am I supposed to do?" She looked at me and never broke contact with my eyes and finally looked away, looking disgusted with what she was about to say.

"I think I should just show you."

**Sebastian POV:**

Clary is such a fucking wimp. She couldn't even tell her baby's father that he actually had a child. This was hilarious. She better be glad she didn't tell Jace yet because when he knows, he'll leave. I know he will. And when he does, I'll apologize like the good little boy I am and I can pick up the pieces of Clary's broken heart and have her to myself, but the boy will be disposed of. Of course, if Jace choses to stay then he will be making the worse decision of his life because Clary is mine and he will have to die too.

As I sat in a booth, a few feet away from where Jace and Isabelle are I just get up and walk out the door to think of my plan. Yes, revenge will be sweet. Now to just watch and wait.

**A/N: Okay, yes I know some of you may be mad at me about the whole Jace not wanting children right now and how Clary won't tell him yet but do you blame them? Jace is only 24 and usually guys don't really want to start a family right away, especially Jace. This also isn't the totally cocky, mean, and arrogant Jace we see from TMI. This is a warm and sweet Jace that I love the most and truly when your heart is broken, you kind of can't help but be that way but he's a guy so he can at least be a little cocky and egoistical. As for the Clary situation, she has a lot on her shoulders right now and you have to remember that she's afraid of losing him again and she's worried for her son and her both! Keep your patience. What do you think Isabelle is up to and what will Sebastian do next? Hmm, secrets.**

**Until next time! **


	6. I'll Never Let Go

**A/N: Here we are! The chapter you have all been waiting for! Well at least I hope you've been waiting for. I know I have! I don't really have the little things planned out for this but for the general things I have it all thought out. I know I'm a little late on this chapter but good things take time! I debated over this chapter for a while and I think I'm pretty much happy with it. I also had tryouts for a concert on Saturday and I was the only one in my division that made it in. Congratulations to me!**

**Special thanks to my beta ButteryHighlights for taking the time to look over my endless mistakes and deal with the fact not all of it sent. Well at least you're reading it now! **

**Disclaimer: Cassandra Claire owns the Mortal Instruments and the characters but I really want Jace. Please? **

**Isabelle POV:**

Why am I doing this? I promised that I would never let this happen but here I am, going against my word and my morals. He deserves to know and everyone knew that but like this? No, there's really no other way. I know Jace as well as I know Clary and from another person's perspective looking in at all this, they will get through it. I know they will. She was only eighteen and he was only nineteen, but this whole time, I always wanted to just shove Clary out the door and make her tell him! But now I have my chance to show Jace that he's not alone anymore. He has a family again and his family will mean the world to him. I just know it will.

**Clary POV:**

I opened the door to my apartment and quietly closed it knowing Kevin should be here. I slid down the wall and curled into a ball, my body shaking with the shock of what just happened moments ago. I almost told Jace the secret I promised I would never tell. He deserved to know but was I really ready to tell him? No, not at all and I probably will never be ready. Kevin deserves to know his father but will his father want to know his son?

As I was sitting in Taki's, texting Isabelle to come save me from what I almost did, I couldn't help but think how this could have turned out if I had told him that night. Would I be happy or alone? My thoughts are making me so stressed that I'm not even sure what to do or even think anymore. How am I supposed to tell Jace he missed out on five years of his son's life because I didn't tell him? I was doing so well, about to tell him about Kevin but Isabelle walked in and I'd like to think that was fate. I wasn't supposed to tell him so how is he going to know? Simple, wait for the right time.

I groaned and stood up. I'm going to go see my son and make my time with him as perfect as I can like I always have. Nobody deserves to grow up sad and isolated because of parents' stupid decisions. It wasn't his fault I got pregnant. I walked into the living room and saw Kevin eating some ice cream and racing with Raphael, also holding an ice cream while on the floor. If it wasn't for the age difference and the fact that Raphael is a year older than me, I would swear they were twins.

As I finally got in their line of sight, they both stopped what they were doing and looked up at me. Kevin's face lit up and he immediately came up to me and hugged me. I gathered him up in my arms, glad that he was still less than sixty pounds, and kissed him on the forehead. Raphael though, looked at me with worry washed over his face. I texted him what happened on the way over and I could tell he was worried that I would have another panic attack but surprisingly enough, I was doing pretty well so far.

"I missed you mommy. I don't have to go over there again for a while do I? I kind of like it here much better." I grinned at him and poked his nose.

"No, you don't have to go back until you want to and you know that. You're my little boy and I would never make you do anything you don't want to do." He grinned up at me and wiggled out of my arms.

"I should clean up my mess. Can we eat spaghetti mommy? My tummy wants spaghetti." I laughed at him as he pat his stomach.

"Of course sweetheart, while you're cleaning up I'll make some spaghetti. Are you staying Raphael?" He shook his head.

"If you need some help then I will." To anyone else they would have thought that he was talking about helping with Kevin but I knew he was talking about the Jace situation.

"No, I'll be fine," I told him firmly. He looked at me dead in the eyes and then shook his head, understanding that I just wanted to spend some time with my son. When Kevin left the room Raphael got up and walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Call me if you need me and I mean it this time Clary. Don't push me away because you know that I will be here faster than you can blink."

"Scientifically, that's not possible," I joked.

"I know but you know what I meant and I mean it," he scoffed.

"Yes mother, I will call you if I need anything. But now that you mention it, I could really use some homemade cookies right now." He glared at me for a second before shaking his head.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Learn to cut the sappy stuff!" I yelled after him as he shut the door and left the apartment with only me and Kevin here alone. This was how I liked it, to just spend some time with my son alone. I love to just have nights where we have no interruptions before he goes to bed. I feel like I get to know him better when no one else is there.

An hour later, we were settled on the couch, digging into our warm bread sticks and homemade spaghetti. Kevin turned on SpongeBob and was giggling at the crazy show. I could remember watching that as I was a kid and pretty much never grew out of it. SpongeBob was amazingly entertaining for a children's cartoon.

"Mommy?" Kevin piped up.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"I wrote a song for you while I was at Carson's house. Carson's mommy made us go to bed early but I wasn't tired so I sat up and wrote you a song. Do you want to hear it?" I smiled at how sweet Kevin could be.

"Did you write it down?"

"No but I remember it. I can't get it out of my head. Me and Raphael practiced all afternoon on it for you." I turned and stared into space for a second, knowing that's what Jace would say to me before he played me something he wrote for me. Jace could never seem to get it out of his head either.

"Mommy?" Kevin asked, breaking me out of my thoughts as I realized I never answered him.

"Of course you can play it for me. I'm excited to hear it." He beamed at me and bounced in his seat.

"Hurry, let's finish eating so I can play it!" I laughed and started on my last few bites of my food.

"So, did you have fun at Carson's?" I decided to ask since he hasn't really told me much about his time there last night.

"Yeah, we played video games and his mommy let us play soccer in his room. It was awesome!"

"Good, I'm glad you had fun." Why would Carson's mom let them play soccer in his room? I have a feeling she didn't know about this endeavor but kept it to myself. They were boys after all. I finished my food and got up to put mine and Kevin's plate in the dishwasher. I washed my hands and went back into the living room already seeing Kevin at the piano, ready to play. I stood in front of the piano, waiting to hear him start. I closed my eyes and relaxed as I heard his fingers play a melodic tune. At first, it was cheerful and made me want to tap my foot but as soon as I started to sway along to the music, it turned slow and quiet, almost sad but not quite. Then a few measures later it started picking up the speed until it got to a certain spot and he started to harmonize the cords together, making the sound woven together. I opened my eyes and smiled at him, so proud that my little boy made something so beautiful.

"That was beautiful Kevin," I told him.

"Thank you mommy, Raphael said you would like it. But I just want to thank you for everything."

"What do you mean?"

"That song was about how I feel sometimes. Every now and then I get sad but you always make me better and we always end up a happy family again. You make me feel so much better mommy and I love you." I looked at him, my heart throbbing in my chest. My baby boy was too sweet for me. I didn't deserve him at all.

"Oh my sweet baby boy I love you so much." He got up from the piano and I got down and hugged him as tightly as I could without hurting him. I was about to release him before he spoke.

"Who are you?" I turned around and my eyes got wide as I felt a little dizzy but quickly rightened myself. I guess fate wasn't being nice to me after all because standing at the door was no other than Jace.

Jace POV:

As me and Isabelle were riding the elevator up to her apartment, I started to get increasingly nervous. My leg wouldn't stop bouncing up and down and my palms were starting to sweat. I wiped my hands on my jeans and stood up straight and alert. Whatever this was, I was going to have to deal with it head on if I wanted to stay with Clary. I was just hoping that she wasn't getting married to someone else. That would not go over well with my feelings.

The high pitched ding of the elevator sounded, telling us we have arrived at our destination. Isabelle quickly walked out and to the door of her apartment, opening it slowly.

"Jace," she started. "Whatever you do, just be quiet and be calm. What I'm about to do is horrible not only for you and Clary but for my trust from Clary. She may never trust me again but if this goes as well as I think it will, it will be worth it." I was about to voice my protest but she opened the door quietly and walked into the apartment and I could hear it. The sound of a piano, the piano that I saw in the living room. Whoever was playing sounded beautiful.

I slowly walked through the hallway and arrived at the opening to the living room but I wouldn't look up, afraid that what I would see would break my heart. Isabelle nudged me in the side and encouraged me to look up and when I did, I felt a hint of recognition. Clary's back was to us and she was standing in front of the piano, watching someone play. She was shielding that person so I couldn't see them but whoever it was Clary obviously adored them with the way she was reacting to the music.

Looking over at Isabelle I could see tears in her eyes not because she was sad for herself, they were joyful tears. I had to admit, if I was a girl, I would probably be crying over the music as well. Eventually when the music stopped, I looked down at my feet again, afraid of what might be there to haunt me. But as I was about to back away and chicken out, I heard something that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"That was beautiful Kevin."

"Thank you mommy, Raphael said you would like it. But I just want to thank you for everything." Wait a second, this wasn't a grown man, this was a boy and mommy? Clary was a mom? Then the realization hit me hard. The pictures I saw this morning were of her son and this is exactly how the picture was posed in this exact moment with Clary facing the piano and the boy playing for her. Some things started to make sense.

"What do you mean?" Clary asked.

"That song was about how I feel sometimes. Every now and then I get sad but you always make me better and we always end up a happy family again. You make me feel so much better mommy and I love you." I heard the boy but I couldn't see him but it was evident enough that his love for his mother was greater than anything I've ever known.

"Oh my sweet baby boy I love you so much." Clary got down and hugged the boy in a tight grasp making it clear she loved him too. That small sliver of hope went away that maybe this was a misunderstanding and he wasn't really her son at all but by the way she was talking, he was. I watched the whole scene unfold as they held each other when, as if he knew I was there, the boy, Kevin, looked at me with his golden eyes. My breath got caught in my throat as I recognized those golden eyes as my own. No, this can't be happening this can't be true. But it could be, he looked just like a crossover of me and Clary with the strawberry blonde hair and his tall height but skinny frame.

"Who are you?" Kevin asked me with curiosity in his eyes that probably reflected in my own. Clary immediately stood up and turned around, looking at me with surprise and shock but then it turned into understanding as she looked at Isabelle.

"Look Clary I-" Isabelle started before Clary cut her off.

"No Izzy, I understand I really do. I think this was for the best and thank you." Clary looked at Isabelle with true understanding in her eyes and a silent conversation passing between them. Kevin stood there holding his mother tightly as if he would die if he let go. Clary bent down and whispered something into his ear.

"Are you sure?" He asked her, letting his gaze find me for a brief second. This boy no matter how young was extremely overprotective. That was just how I was when I was little.

"Yes sweetheart, I'll be fine." He hesitated for a second before going up to Izzy, sending me another curious glance as he followed her out the door leaving me and Clary alone. I felt glued to the floor as a bombardment of questions flooded my mind as well as accusations but I couldn't will myself to speak, much less move. After a few silent moments, Clary finally spoke.

"I'm sure you're confused and have a lot to say to me but I just want to let you know you can get it out now. You can yell at me, question me, walk away or anything you need to do and I'll understand." My head snapped up and I looked at her suddenly hearing what her words displayed. She thought that I didn't want this and that I would just break her heart again. It was true, I did not expect this nor did I think this would happen but I couldn't walk away from my family when for the past few years, this was my fantasy that I wanted. A family of my own with Clary.

"How could you think I'm mad at you? I'm more mad at myself," this surprised her. "You had to go through this without me and I missed the first few years of my son's life all because of that stupid bastard Sebastian. You have no idea how badly hurt I am because of all this. I should have been here and it's not your fault." She walked up to me and stood directly in front of me keeping her eyes on my own.

"This is not your fault. I should have told you the night of the party because before you broke up with me, I knew that I was pregnant. I took the test and afterwards, found out that it was true but I let you go because you deserved happiness. But then I realized something, Kevin is my gift and I took him away from you when you should have been here with him too. This is my own fault, not yours."

"Clary, I know you're blaming yourself and that you're trying to push me away but I'm not going anywhere. I want to make this right because you two are my family and now that I know, It's going to take a lot to get rid of me." She gazed into my eyes with happiness before she flung her arms around my neck and embraced me. I quickly put my arms around her and squeezed her back, trying to tell her everything will be alright. She let go and we smiled at each other for the longest time until we finally sat down.

She started to look uncomfortable for a while before she finally spoke, "I don't want Kevin to know about you," she shied away from my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I said as calmly as I could. I knew she wanted me to be here but why not let him know?

"I want him to get to know you first. It's not like he'll never know because I want to tell him eventually but the only 'dad' he's ever had in his life is Raphael so I want to give him time to warm up to you. He's just a boy." This finally set me over the edge as I stood up and paced the room.

"Raphael? Really? He's not his father, I am! He would have had his dad if I would have just known. Do you expect me to just pretend to be friends with my own son when all I really want to do is stand by him and help him with the things that I'm supposed to do? No, Raphael is not his dad and I won't let him be now that I'm here and in the picture. Just a boy? He's just a boy? Yeah, I was 'just a boy' when my parents died Clary, died. I don't want my own son thinking that I didn't want him because I know what it's like to grow up without a father and a mother. I won't let that happen to him because my blood is in his veins and I will always be here for him and be the father mine didn't get to be with me."

I finally stopped and looked over at Clary to see her crying her eyes out and rocking on the floor. She was about to black out and it broke my heart to know that I was the one that made her like this. I quickly went over to her and gathered her in my arms as I sat in the floor with her, rocking her while telling her happy stories in her ear knowing that used to make her feel better a long time ago. About five minutes later, she eventually laid her head on my chest, burying her face in my neck. She would always do this to tell me she was okay and it made me smile that even though I just yelled at her, she was still my Clary.

"I'm so sorry Clary," I wrapped my arms around her and tightened my hold. "I shouldn't have said that, you don't deserve it I'm so so sorry please forgive me." She wiggled around in my grasp so she was facing me and then cupped my face with her hands.

"I understand that you needed to get it out but know that this is my fault too and that I'll take anything you give me as long as you're always right here. I would rather have you yelling at me any day over you not being here at all." I started to smile as I pushed her on the floor, pressing all my weight on top of her as I began lightly kissing her neck, her face, and any exposed flesh that I could find while I thanked her over and over again. She giggled and held me to her as I buried my face in her neck and then I knew, everything was going to be okay. That in some parallel universe, we were going to get through this and make ourselves stronger.

One day I will be able to be with my family as a whole. One day I will be able to call Clary my wife. One day I will get to love her no matter what and hopefully show her how much she means to me. One day we might even start a bigger family but that day is not today. I can wait because right now, the future looks bright and it's worth waiting for.

**A/N: So what do you think? Too much? Nah, I thought it fit for the moment. From now on things are going to get bumpy. Not like it already hasn't been. They deserved a moment of happiness though don't you think? Even if it was after Clary had a major breakdown? I hope to get the next chapter out by this weekend. I would try to do it sooner but I have a crap ton of projects due this Friday and I'm about to rip my hair out. Have a good day/night everyone! **


	7. A Sight of the Future

**A/N: Caution! The end may make you a little mad and by a little I mean a lot. My beta is not too happy with me at the moment but it's understandable. **

**Greygirl2358: I will get you Raphael's point of view, trust me on this, I see how you want it really badly and its coming soon. Thank you for the luck by the way! I spent hours on them and made hundreds on all of them. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments or the characters mentioned in terms of the book. Also, I have walking pneumonia and that sucks too. **

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**Sebastian POV:**

I sat on the uncomfortable, worn wooden bench as Isabelle and the bastard child walked out of the apartment building. He kept asking her questions, making her squirm at the little boys curiosity. I could tell he saw Jace and now that Isabelle and the child are walking toward the direction of her brother's apartment, he was alone with Clary. My blood boiled at the thought of him with what's supposed to be mine. He has no right to walk in and try to reconnect with the son he never knew he had. I knew that the boy existed and I was going to be the one that corrected the mistake of him being born in the first place. Soon, they will no longer exist.

As I stood up to walk towards my new destination, I could only shake my head in disappointment at the choice of Clary's friends. She was too blind to see that they were ruining her. She is not the same girl I knew in high school, the outgoing, sweet, and fierce girl I fell in love with. Instead, she is broken into pieces from something that shouldn't have happened. She could have choose me but yet she chose not to. I'll take her pain away and make her better again, I know I will. Jace could have lived if she only kept Kevin a secret but her stupid so called best friend had to ruin it for her. But alas, it will be much better to get rid of him so she has nothing to worry about. They all must go, every last one that took her away from me.

I pulled out my phone and dialed a familiar number. "Hello." I heard the deep, broad voice from the other end.

"It's me," I answered in return.

"Ah, Sebastian Verlac nice to hear from you again. What can I do for you?"

"Glad you know my motive for calling."

"Well, I'm pretty straight forward and I know I owe you a favor from our last exchange." I smile, knowing exactly what he's talking about.

"Dark times call for desperate measures and speaking of desperate measures, I have some things I am in need of disposal of."

I could hear the excitement in his voice as he answered. "Of course, don't we all? Knowing you though, this job won't be easy and painless so I'll get my best team together and we'll talk plan's."

"Meet me tomorrow morning at my place, remember where it is?"

"How could I forget? See you soon, Verlac." He hung up and I slipped my phone back into my pocket, walking to my apartment.

Yes, they will suffer and watch each other die a painful death. I laughed excitedly at the thought.

**Clary POV:**

It's finally over. Jace knows about Kevin and he didn't leave me or Kevin behind. For the first time in years I actually breathed a sigh of relief, stress free and relaxed. I couldn't help but have a grin on my face at the realization that I have Jace back for good this time.

"What are you grinning about?" Jace asked me while laying his head in my lap, looking up at me with a playful grin on his face.

"Nothing, this, us, everything." He lifted his hand and cupped my left cheek.

"I think we both deserve a minute of happiness, yeah?"

"Yes Jace, we really do." I grinned at him.

"Want to make this happiness a little better by going down the happy trail?" He smirked while biting his lip and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ew Jace keep your inner thoughts to yourself," I gagged while lightly punching his arm.

"Ow don't break my arm I can't afford to loose this arm," he feigned hurt.

"Oh, and why is that?"

"Because a mans gotta get off somehow and this is my lucky hand so if you hurt my arm it lowers my chance of becoming relaxed." I brought my hands up and used them to cover my ears.

"Jesus Christ Jace thoughts to yourself!" He was laughing so hard that he fell off the couch and managed to smack his head on the floor.

"See? Now that's karma," I teased him.

"Oh, shut up." I giggled at his sneer. My phone vibrated letting me know I got a text so I quickly pulled it out and looked at it.

Izzy: We're on our way back is Jace still there

Me: Yes he is still here but I'm not sure he would want to meet Kevin today

Izzy: Well you better ask him. We're nearly a block away and Raphael is coming over later. He wasn't at the apartment but I called to let him know

I bit my lip nervously, unsure of what to do. Should I make Jace leave and come back another time or ask him if he wants to see him? After a few minutes of internally battling with myself I choose the latter.

"Jace, kevin and Izzy are about a block away," I cleared my throat. "Would you like to stay for a little while? I mean I completely understand if you don't want to it's just that-" He put his hand over my mouth to silence me.

"Of course I would like to stay. I want to meet him so bad it's killing me right now." I gently pulled his wrist from my mouth and kissed his knuckles.

"Thank you," I silently whispered. He came over to me and sat on his knees, positioning himself between my legs and kissing me on my forehead.

"No Clary, I should be the one thanking you." He stared so intensely into my eyes, I started to blush. He smiled, "I love it when you blush like that." His declaration made me blush harder. He chuckled at my endless embarrassment at the same time that Isabelle and Kevin walked in. Jace's laughter died out a little as Kevin ran up to me and gave me a hug, wrapping his arms around my legs because he wasn't quite tall enough to be any higher.

"Thank goodness we're back. Magnus sprayed glitter at me and it got up my nose!" He complained while ending on a little sneeze and I giggled at his protests. He turned toward Jace and held out his right hand, "You're Jace right? Izzy told me all about you and that you're her adoptive brother and that you and mommy are best friends. My name is Kevin." I looked over at Jace as he held out his hand and shook Kevin's with a big grin on his face.

"Yes, that's me." Kevin looked up at him in amazement.

"Wow, you're really tall. I hope I'm that tall one day." Jace chuckled.

"You will be one day just give it time." I was smiling at the bond they just created, hoping it would last. Kevin plopped down on the floor and propped his chin in his hand.

"What's wrong with you, sweetheart?" I asked him.

"Life," he answered. I couldn't contain myself, I was bursting out laughing along with Izzy and Jace.

"Hey! It's not funny!" Kevin said annoyingly.

"Now what did life ever do to you?" I asked Kevin after everyone stopped laughing.

He just sighed, "Nothing but short of everything." I just shrugged it off, knowing it was probably something he didn't want to tell me about until later when we were alone.

"Wow, for a five year old he sure knows a lot," Jace spoke up.

I laughed, "Did I forget to mention he is extremely smart?"

"Yes, you forgot to mention that important fact." Kevin stood up and put a hand over his heart.

"I'm touched," he said while smiling his five year old sarcastic smirk.

"Oh god, here we go," Isabelle said.

"Hey! He's sarcastic too!" Jace exclaimed while looking at me, a knowing look in his eyes.

"No, we are not starting this. Izzy, let's go into the kitchen for a second and start dinner." I walked over to Isabelle and pulled her along with me to the kitchen, leaving Kevin and Jace alone to spend some time together.

"Girl, that had to be the cutest thing when Kevin introduced himself. I almost died from all the feels."

"Yes, that was the most adorable thing wasn't it." I said posing it as a question but it came out more like a statement.

"I have a question," She said as I started to go towards the refrigerator, noticing we needed to go grocery shopping, bad.

"And what is your question?" I asked her, huffing that we were out of everything. Well looks like tonight is pizza night.

"What happened between you two when we were gone?" I blushed a little, knowing the moment me and Jace shared was everything I had needed and had been wishing would happen for the past few years. "I see, you two made up with a little more than just words, is that it?"

"Maybe," I mumbled trying to find the pizza place's number in my phone, glad that this was the perfect distraction not to have to look at her accusing glance. I quickly dialed the number and ordered two large pizzas and three two liter sodas. A Dr. Pepper for myself, Sprite for Kevin, and Coke for everyone else since I wasn't much of a fan of Coke. After I hung up I texted Raphael to pick it all up before he came over and took a big breath before looking up at Isabelle. Surprisingly enough, all the hatred was gone from her eyes and now she was looking at me with sympathy.

"Clary, whatever you do just be careful, okay?" I laughed off her worried words.

"Isabelle, I'm fine. Everything's fine and we'll be fine."

"You're making a bad decision and you know you are."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she sighed and shook her head, clearly not up to arguing with me at the moment. I just waked away from her, leaving her behind to sit by herself. What is her problem? I'm not doing anything wrong am I? As I approached the living room I could hear Kevin giggling so I slowed down and eavesdropped on their conversation.

"You play soccer too? That's so cool! You should come to one of my games and watch us play. Coach says I'm the best on the team and just the other day I scored two goals in a row!" Kevin said.

"You must be really good then squirt. Tell you what I'll go to your games and help you with practicing." I laughed silently at Jace's nickname for Kevin.

"You would do that? You're a professional and you would help a beginner like me?" I giggled quietly as it was hard for him to say the word 'professional.

"Of course I would. You said you were the best so it makes sense that I would help you. I was just like you when I was your age too and now I've gotten really good because I had a lot of help and encouragement." I smiled remembering how Robert used to teach him after he found out Alec wasn't interested in sports and Jace was. Even as we were little I would always go watch him practice and cheer for him at his games. I never missed a single one even if I was deathly sick.

"Can I come see you play sometime?" Kevin asked with adoration in his voice.

"As long as your mommy lets you." Jace said amused.

"Izzy said you play piano is that true?"

"Yes, I've played since I was four and I taught myself."

"I did too! Wow we have a lot in common. You have to be my long lost best friend I'm telling you."

"Long lost best friend eh? Okay, I'll agree to that. You play really good for a beginner, squirt."

"Thank you. I don't like anyone at my piano but my mommy though but since you play too I guess you could be an exception so you can play it anytime you want." I smiled at the generosity in Kevin's voice.

"Sound's good squirt." I chose this time to walk into the living room and tackled Kevin on the floor to tickle him senseless. When I eventually stopped I looked at Jace, lying on his stomach propped up on his elbows with a huge smile on his face that I knew and loved that made my heart twist and thump in my chest.

"So how'd it go?" I asked while sitting down and pulling Kevin into my arms and he gladly cuddled up to my chest.

"Me and Jace have so much in common! He plays the piano and he's a professional soccer player and he said he would help me and come to my games and that I could go to his!" I giggled at him as he stumbled over the word 'professional' again.

"Sounds like a plan little man." Jace got a text message and read it, huffing as he replied.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Alec needs me to come over for something."

"Will you come back tomorrow?" Kevin asked.

"I'll try squirt," He said while ruffling his hair and winking at me, making me blush again.

"If you want to come tomorrow you'll need to come to Taki's because I have to work days tomorrow and no one will be here," I told Jace before he left.

"What time does your shift start?"

"Seven."

"I'll be there," he said before walking out the door to go to Alec, Magnus, and Raphael's apartment. Kevin started bouncing in excitement probably planning out what he was going to do with Jace tomorrow. Hopefully Jace would show up but I shouldn't doubt. The way he was talking and acting about Kevin it seemed he didn't want to leave anytime soon.

I got Kevin off me and walked into my bathroom to take a hot shower. After I was done I looked in the mirror and touched the smile on my face that only Jace could have put there. When I walked out, dressed, refreshed and hungry, I saw Raphael on the bed with his hands in his lap.

"Oh hey, you're here." He looked up at me with a forced smile. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He let out a long breath before answering, almost as if he had to tell me something bad. "It's about you and Jace."

I quickly got defensive, "What about us?" First Izzy and now him? What am I missing?

"What happened today Clary and don't leave out a single detail." I sighed and told him the whole story from when Raphael left until he got back.

"She's right you know," he spoke up as I finished. "You need to be more careful than you're being."

"What are you guys talking about? Why do I need to be so careful about this? Everything's perfect!"

"That's exactly what I mean; it's perfect, too perfect if you ask me. He finds out he has a son and he handles it with hugs and kisses like nothing's wrong? I mean, to tell you the truth, if I was given information like that I wouldn't blame myself for the whole thing, I would blame her." I looked at him with realization crashing over me but surprisingly enough, I wasn't hurt almost like I already knew what was really happening but didn't register it until he told me.

"Your right, I'm so stupid for not being more careful."

"You're not stupid Clary," he knelt down in front of me, pulling my hands from my face. "Don't ever think that you are stupid just because you fell for the Wayland charm. He can be very persuasive on the ladies and you of all people should know that." I laughed at his attempt to make me feel better, it worked. "Now I'm not telling you to give up on him or run away again, I'm just saying be cautious and take baby steps on this and you know exactly what those look like."

"Oh shut up, you do too." I said, he chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"You're right, I do. Now get your cute little ass up and come eat I'm starving."

"Alright, I'll be right there I just have something to do first." He nodded in understanding and left me alone in my room.

I walked over to my mirror and saw a fierce expression in my eyes. I raised up my chin and straightened my posture and announced, "I Clary Fray, from this day forward, will never let Jace Wayland get the best of me ever again." There, I said silently to myself, he will not be a dictator of my heart anymore. I walked down the stairs with hatred of what is Jace Wayland and his charming ways.

I walked up to Raphael and hugged him from behind and he turned around to kiss me on the forehead but I quickly stopped him. "No, I can't do this anymore." He looked sincerely hurt by my words.

"Look, if this is about what I said earlier-"

"This isn't about what you said, this is about me. For some reason just knowing that Jace could be doing this on purpose didn't make me heartbroken and I realized I moved on. You helped me move on and nothing made me hurt worse than seeing you broken and worried about me."

I saw a small smile form on his lips, "Clary, for the past few years I've tried to be everything for you. I tried to help you pick up the pieces of your broken heart, I tried to be the father Kevin deserves, I tried to be the one that could make you smile when you were sad but most of all, you were the one that helped me. I love you so much and I want to have to honor of having your heart so will you be my girlfriend Clary?"

I looked into his eyes as he spoke those caring words and portrayed his love for me. I couldn't help but almost cry. This whole time, I really did have someone other than Jace to keep me going. I had someone other than Jace that could actually make me feel better. I knew I loved Raphael and Jace both but only one could be it for me right now. I knew exactly who that was and it made my heart throb a little on the inside at the realization but I quickly composed myself. I knew who I needed and who Kevin really needed so I looked into his eyes to tell him my answer.

"Yes, I would be honored to be your girlfriend."

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**A/N: *Runs and hides* Okay, now if a few of you are angry at me then that's okay, I'm a little angry at myself to be honest but there's a reason! Though right now that reason may make you so ticked off at me right now you want to kill me but that's okay! I deserve a punch in the face for multiple reasons other than that cliffhanger, for instance, if you read my disclaimer then you know I have walking pneumonia and that is true but you're probably thinking why this effect not posting the chapter? Well I've been putting off going to the doctor for two weeks now thinking that this will go away and it's only a cold but my mom literally dragged me out of school to take me. My asthma got really tied into it and they put me on really strong medicine and let's just say, I was out of it for a few days. I had to make up three days' worth of school and the day I went back, we left early for another freak snow storm and I got to come home so I wrote the chapter, sent it to my beta, and here I am! My nephew also caught my walking pneumonia and he hasn't been treated yet so that is another problem in my life right now but what makes me really mad about this is I wasn't supposed to get walking pneumonia again for a while since I had it in November but the doctors were wrong! Okay, enough of that, I should be good to get back into my habit of posting again more often but the earliest would be Tuesday so be looking out for it! Again, I'm so so sorry please forgive me? I love you all! **

**~DarkMeadows1026**


	8. Defiance

**A/N: I finally got this out before the weekend! Now, before I move on I would just like to say thank you to all of you that has followed or favorite this story, it means the world me. A few months ago I was trying to figure out what I should do to make myself happy and make my life more exciting when the idea for this story popped into my head. I could have never imagined that something I would do would interest people so to all of you that reads this every time I post a new chapter, thank you so much! I already have ideas for another story but I will not start it until this one is finished and trust me, we have quite a long time until this story is finished because I love long stories. This past week my schedule has been so messed up and I got little to no sleep and by the time I get home from school, I'm absolutely exhausted and worn out. Usually I would try to write before or after I took my nap because I had to have one to catch up on my sleep and either time I wrote it, I was so out of it I couldn't think straight so this chapter seems a little off. ButteryHighlights, I'm sorry there was a lot more mistakes and I tried to catch them all I really wasn't paying attention and I was trying to get this done but I tried not to make it suck. I went back and rewrote most of it, it sucked that bad but it seems like it's missing something so you decide for yourself! By the way I know these are excuses but if you have school and a ton of homework, plus, you only got 4 hours of sleep the night before, yeah you don't feel like you're in paradise on cloud 9.**

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**Clary POV:**

"Raphael, get off me," I groaned as I woke up to excessive weight being pushed on me to only find out he decided to roll onto me in his sleep. "I let you sleep with me all the time and you never do this so why now? Get off me I can't breathe!" I smacked the side of his head with my palm but it did not make him budge."I know you're not asleep now! You gave it away! Just move please? I have to work in," I looked over at my clock, "three hours and I don't have time for this." He chuckled and looked at me with tired eyes.

"I'm admiring you from up here, what's wrong with that?" I shoved him, making him roll back to his side of the bed and scowled at him. "What did I do?" He asked me.

"You smothered me for your own enjoyment perfectly knowing I'm smaller than you and that would potentially suffocate me."

"No, I did it because I can and now I'm going to do this." He put his arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest, kissing me lightly on my lips. This didn't feel like enough to me so I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as I opened more to let his tongue attack my mouth. When we eventually pulled away, out of breath, I noticed he was halfway on top of me again but I couldn't remember when that happened.

"How did you get back on top of me?" I asked him, still trying to catch my breath.

"I'm not sure myself." He answered distractedly and stroked my cheek, choosing his next words. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" He kissed me lightly and pulled me to him again and I cuddled into him, my face levelled at his chest. I didn't need to answer since it was an open question but I answered anyway.

"You did nothing, I'm the one that doesn't deserve you." He squeezed me to him tighter to let me know that wasn't true. Actually we were both right in a way. To me, I didn't deserve Raphael because he's done so much for me over the past few years and I could only give him as much as my heart as I could. Jace had my heart now and that's something I'll never be able to get back. I couldn't help but compare his arms and his kisses to Jace. They were very similar, holding the same amount of love but something was missing and that was the electric spark I always felt when Jace touched me and that invisible pull I always felt around him. I didn't have that with Raphael but I didn't need to because I was content with my life and at this point I didn't need Jace to be happy. I had Izzy, Alec, Magnus, Kevin, and Raphael making me happy all the time as it is.

"I love you so much Clare-bear."

"I love you too Raphael," I said before falling asleep, once again, feeling more wanted than I have in a long time. I may not be able to love him like I love Jace but I can damn sure try.

***The Light of Destruction***

It was now six thirty in the morning and I was currently straightening my hair for work. Running behind has never happened to me before but when your boyfriend keeps distracting you, it is kind of hard to stay on track. As I finished straightening my hair, I couldn't help but thank the angel I didn't wear makeup or else I would never make it to work on time. When I walked back into the bedroom I looked over at Raphael watching TV with Kevin, making sure they were both ready to go. Luckily they were.

"Is Izzy ready?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Yeah," They both said together.

"Hey Clare-bear do you know where my phone is?" Raphael asked me.

"On the dresser." Raphael got up from the bed and treaded over the dresser, grabbed his phone, and kissed me wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me to him to comfort me. All morning I have been worried at how Jace will react to me and Raphael, his old best friend, dating his ex-girlfriend and son's mother.

Throughout their life, Jace and Raphael had been best friends. Jace had been closer to Raphael than Alec and they were pretty close. It was no secret that Raphael had a crush on me since we were in kindergarten but I didn't like him back. I never really liked anyone up until Isabelle's back to school party. Me and Jace never got along so it surprised everyone when we told them we hooked up at her party and from then on, got closer and closer. He was the perfect gentleman until he decided he didn't want to be just friends anymore and asked me out.

After all of this happened I never really looked on how this would affect Jace and Raphael but I knew I broke them apart and broke his heart. Raphael did soccer and tried his hardest not to get classes with Jace for a whole year until I finally told Raphael that his best friend needed him and this fight was stupid. Fortunately he opened his eyes and realized I was right but I knew he never completely forgave him and after he found out he broke my heart, I knew they would probably never be friends again. Sometimes I wish I never dated Jace in the first place but I knew it was hopeless to think so. We were drawn to each other like bees to honey and once you give in just the slightest bit, it's over.

"Ah, young love," I heard Kevin say as he hopped from the bed came up to us, hugging me from behind. He said something else but I couldn't hear him.

"Shouldn't we be the ones saying that to you?" I asked.

"Possibly," he answered.

"One minute he's fierce, the next minute he's silly, then he's cocky, then he's stubborn. He definitely takes after you on the personalty level."

"He takes after everyone, not just me. I see Magnus in him and I see Izzy in him and others, it's more of everyone." I answered.

"You're right. He does." They both let go of me and we all three walked out into the living room to collect Izzy and be on our way.

"Well if it isn't the love birds. Clary and Raphael sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g."

"Izzy, if you don't shut up I will punch that grin right off your face," I told her. She just smirked in response.

"Do you guys think Jace will be there? I sure hope so," Kevin said trying to change the subject. Izzy got up from her current seat on the couch and got on her knees in front of Kevin, looking at him dead in the eyes.

"If you've known Jace as long as I've known him, you would know he would definitely be there," Izzy told him. Kevin just grinned in response and walked down the hallway, everyone else behind him. On the subway, Izzy leaded over to me to whisper in my ear.

"What are you going to do?" She asked me. I just sighed in defeat and put my face in my hands.

"I really have no Idea, Izzy."

"Look Clary, we both know Jace so we know he doesn't ever give up. He may do some stupid things but he is absolutely not a traitor or the bad guy here. I can see where Raphael is coming from and that you're tired of having your heart broken and you are so scared it will happen again but do you really think he's trying to hurt you?" I let out a deep breath trying to processes what she just said.

"You're right in a lot of ways but I can never be too careful. Right now Raphael is the best for me and I think I'm just going to keep Jace on a tight leash until I get proof that he's still committed to me and that he loves me. I just need time." She just shook her head and walked off the subway after it came to a stop.

Raphael came up to me, "What was that about? You look stressed."

"It was nothing she just wanted to ask me how many days we were working this week since she forgot." I knew I was lying to him but I had to. I didn't feel like discussing the Jace subject for another hour. I need to just get ahold of myself and keep going. Just because he's here now, doesn't change the fact that he hasn't been here for the past five years.

"By the angel did she not get enough sleep last night? Who am I kidding this is Izzy." I laughed but it didn't sound like I gave it any effort. Earning a glance from Raphael, I just pretended like it never happened.

**Jace POV:**

"Oh, Jacey, sweetheart you know about the little young one. How does it feel? Fantastic? Fabulous? Formidable? I'm stressing over here not knowing what you're feeling. Stop talking and tell me already!" Magnus said while filing his nails. What guy files their nails? Who am I kidding this is Magnus for the angels sake.

"Magnus, sweetheart," I said trying to sound as gay as I could. "It was just so amazing I could almost cry. I was just wanting to cuddle with him so hard and I knew I hearts flying out of my eyes."

"God pansycake did you eat my glitter? Are you doing okay? I don't really care as long as you don't hurt Clary. Chairman Meow and I will hunt you down if you do."

"Your cat won't do anything to me."

"Really? Why don't we get him to cuddle with you again and add to that nice scar from last time?"

"Okay, you two shut up," Alec finally decided to speak up. "The important thing about all this is you, Jace, need to get your head on straight because if you walk away from either of them this time, I will personally kill you."

"Oh come on Alec, we all know you're too much of a sissy to even hurt a fly."

"Do I look like I'm fucking kidding to you?" He said with a tone and a look I've never seen before. His eyes said it all though, he's not kidding.

"Oh my God, Jace finally got his panties on straight by the gay boy himself. Never thought you'd be able to do it Allie."

"Listen Magnus, he may be able to hurt me but you never could. Look at you, you're knitting a pink scarf for the Angels sake!"

"Why don't you come a little closer, lover boy, and I'll show you what a needle feels like up your ass."

"I bet you get things like that up yours often, Maggie."

He narrowed his eyes at me, "What did I tell you about calling me that."

"ENOUGH!" Alec yelled. "Will you two ever stop?"

"No," We chorused.

"Well you better stop now because we need to leave. It's already eight so Clary should be there by now." With the way he got up and walked out of the room, it was enough for me and Magnus to know that we needed to follow him, silently. The whole trip there all I could think of was Clary and her beautiful red hair, gorgeous smile, and how perfect she was. No one would ever understand how much I love her and how much I look forward to calling her mine again. Just seeing Kevin yesterday and seeing a mini me on another person ignited a feeling deep inside me I've never felt before. I was insanely nervous about meeting him but as soon as I did, it felt normal to me, like I've been doing this all along. Spending time with my beautiful son.

Approaching Taki's, I could see the sea of people inside, waiting to be served their breakfast. I suddenly felt really bad for Clary and Izzy having to work breakfast and rush hour. Alec told me there was a room in the back that everyone hung out in so we started towards there. I didn't see Clary or Izzy when we were walking through so I just figured they were busy with other things. Kevin was sitting on the couch in a spacious room that had a few chairs and a huge tv with quite a few expensive gaming systems. Now I understood why Kevin didn't complain about coming here, it was boy heaven.

"Jace! You came!" Kevin exclaimed while coming over to me and giving me a hug, the best he could. I made it a little easier and lifted him up into my arms, not knowing why I did it in the first place but it made it easier for him to hug me better. After a moments decision, I decided to lift him up and throw him in the air, catching him before he hit the ground. He giggled in excitement, obviously enjoying that I was playing with him.

"That was fun!" He said after he was safely on the ground again.

"You think so squirt?"

"Yeah!" He went over to a pile of comics and brought one over to me.

"This is mine and Simon's collection. We love comics. Do you like comics Jace?" I shook me head in response.

"No, I never really liked them but I know your mommy did."

"Yeah, that's why she and Simon are best friends. He's mommy's age but he's like my big brother and always buys me cool things." Simon? I was going to have to meet him.

"Are we talking about the gamer freak with glasses and dull complexion? That boy could use some glitter," Magnus said.

"Hey! Don't make fun of him! He's not dull! If you think he is then you think I am and you wouldn't want to make fun of me now would ya?"

"Kevin, you're a boy. When the time is right, you will be humiliated. Trust me."

"Okay, well we better be on our way, bye Kevin, Jace," Alec said with a nod of his head and dragged Magnus out of the restaurant. Well that was odd.

"So who is Simon?" I decided to ask him.

"That's my big brother and he's Izzy's boyfriend." I raised one of my eye brows.

"Really?" I didn't want to offend him so I left the next part of my question to myself. Why would she date a nerd? They really weren't her type but I guess I didn't know anymore.

"So what are we going to do today, squirt?" I finally asked.

"I have the whole day planned out! We can play on the Xbox and then read some comics and then-" Clary and Raphael walked in the room, more like tripped, looking flushed and out of breath. They immediately pulled away from each other and stood there awkwardly, staring at the ground like they've been caught doing something bad. Kevin had a knowing look on his face and cockily walked up to Raphael.

"Let's go bad boy and leave these two alone for a moment." I almost laughed at Kevin dragging him out of the room but something held me back. After a few moments Clary finally looked up at me and stared into my eyes.

"You came," she said.

I smiled, "Of course I came, that's my son and I really wanted to see you." She looked down at the floor again and started playing with her hands.

"Please stop saying that." Confused, I walked up to her, lifting her chin with my hand.

"Stop saying what?" I asked her.

"You know what I'm talking about Jace! Stop saying things you don't mean. I know you're telling me you want to see me to be cruel so just stop. I know you know how much it breaks me that you say things like that."

"Clary how could you say that? After all these years of suffering and pain from losing you and you accuse me of not loving you anymore? I think my heart begs to differ." I looked in her eyes with as much truth as I could possibly conjure so she would possibly be able to believe me but as I was looking at her hair, I noticed something dark on her neck. "What is this?" I asked her. I pulled her hair back so I could look at it a little better. At first it just looked like a bruise but upon further inspection, I noticed it was much more.

"That's a hickey isn't it?" My blood starting boiling knowing someone had her in their arms and it wasn't me.

"What? Dammit," She said reaching for her neck and holding her breath. "This was what I needed to talk to you about."

"Oh really? So I tell you after all these years that I love you too. I try to make you see that I really do and then you go off to someone else? Who is it Clary? Who could possibly try to give you all that I gave you?"

"Raphael." She whispered almost too quiet that I almost couldn't hear her. That made my whole body go rigid. I knew it. How was I so stupid? The whole time Clary and I were dating in high school he was always jealous. I knew he was jealous. He has had a crush on her since elementary school but never did anything about it. I never liked her, at least I thought I didn't and when I found out I felt more than just friendly towards her, I knew it would cause problems and apparently it still is.

"How long?" I finally decided to ask.

"Since last night." I wanted to ask why but I just couldn't form another word, much less another sentence. My heart was slowing, crumbling at the realization that I probably won't be able to ever have her again. After I backed away from her and took a few breaths I could finally find my voice again, knowing what I needed to do.

"Good, I'm happy for you both." This seemed to surprise her and it surprised me too but it was the truth. I knew I could never be it for her anymore and that I broke our relationship beyond repair so why try to fight for something that's broken?

"I'll always still be here and you know that Clary. You've always known I never back down and this time I was being serious. Kevin will be in my life now and that's how it's always going to stay." She looked up at me with a look in her eyes that was regret? No that can't be it.

"Thank you," she said before retreating out the door. At the last moment though she turned around, "You will always have a piece of my heart Jace and I think we both know that. That's just something I can never have back." she waked out the door before I could shake my head or say anything else. She was right, I did have her heart and she just waked away with mine.

Kevin choose that moment to walk in and come up to me, looking up into my eyes. He looked at me not with pity, but with understanding which made me wonder how much of the conversation he heard.

"Si aveugle," he said. I knew it was French but I didn't know the language very well. It surprised me that he knew the language but I was too worn out to acknowledge it. He didn't say another word, just dragged me over to the TV, turned on the Xbox, and handed me a controller. It was almost as if he knew exactly what I needed and the gesture made me smile.

I knew I would heal from this because I had Kevin and right now, he was all I needed. Yes, now I would never be able to be the same. I was going to sleep with girls, get drunk, and be a bastard to everyone but not around my son. He needed a father to look up to and right now, I could save that part of me for later. I could slowly feel myself breaking into a million pieces and I prayed to the angel that I wouldn't break down for the rest of the day.

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**A/N: I want honest opinions on this, what was it missing? Please review or PM me to tell me because it's eating me like a bug. Since this chapter was horrible and short, I will take my time on the next one and make it long and much better because you guys deserve it. Tomorrow I will let this become all I think about and I will write until I pass out, which I'm about to do as I'm writing this author note. **

**Greygirl2358: Your reviews always make me laugh nonstop. Yes I made him creepy but in The Mortal Instruments he's really Johnathan and we don't really know how Sebastian is supposed to be so I tied in Johnathan's personality with Sebastian's face because in the books, Johnathan seems like a crack head and he scares the crap out of me. No joke. I know you're going to review so might as well at least thank me for not putting him in this chapter, I did it for you! I'm kidding you don't have to thank me because we get a long POV from him in the next chapter :D **

**I'm going to bed so I can be ready and try to make it up to you all with the next chapter! I love you guys and goodnight! **

**~DarkMeadows1026**


	9. Moving On

**A/N: Hello Everyone! Let me start off by saying thank you for 75 followers which was the goal I thought I would only reach at the end but we're far from the end and it's here! Also, ButteryHighlights has gone MIA on me and hasn't given me the edited version of this chapter and I wanted to get it out to you guys soon but she is like, gone and I haven't heard back from her. As soon as she gets the edited version to me, if ever, I will post it. ButteryHighlights if you're still alive at least tell me because you're making me a little worried and I get that people has lives but dang girl where the heck did you go?! I don't like a lot of replies to reviews in Author Notes but these were necessary and I answer some confusing questions so please read them! **

**Greygirl2358: I'm glad you understand what I was doing there. I know I need sleep but sometimes I push myself too much and to the limit of the point of exhaustion. I caught up on all my sleep though so I should be good. Okay, just to let you know, I did NOT make it clear AT ALL that everyone knows about what Sebastian did to Clary except for Kevin of course. I'm sorry for not making that clear. By the way you get a Raphael point of view in this and the next chapter as well so are you happy now?! Are you happy?! BE HAPPY! You better be smiling….. I'm watching you. I'm kidding, I'm not a stalker. **

**CrazyGirl92: That made me laugh for about half an hour and I have no clue why. All I can say is that I know exactly how you feel. **

**Tonsoffandoms: I know how you feel and I know how you feel but we'll just have to wait and see. Thank you! I'm glad you like my story and like my writing! You had me smiling forever after I read your review. Jace has his reasons for accepting Kevin so fast and we will find out why later on. We will see Simon soon but I just really haven't had a place to put him yet but he will be back soon! **

**To everyone else, I love you and I do read all of your reviews so thank you so so so much for being so supportive and loving this story as much as I do. I hope you find this chapter just as good as the others. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments or anything else that would entail copy write. Copy write makes me want to scream sometimes. **

***This is the edited version of Chapter 9: Moving On***

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**Clary POV:**

Clary slumped down into the bar stool, putting her head in her hands. Why? she wondered to herself, why did this have to happen to me? It was quitting time but I wasn't ready to leave, not with anyone else but myself. I needed some time to think and be alone, to process all that's happening in my life at the moment. I slowly got up from the stool and walked over to where Raphael was leaning on the wall, texting someone. Now that the restaurant has died down with less customers and the night shift starting, I not only had to leave but I got a few minutes of peace to talk to Raphael.

"Hey," I said as I approached him.

"Hey," he responded, looking at me. "What's up?" I sighed and shook my head, letting him know I was defeated and worn out. "Clary, what did I tell you? I told you this was going to happen and it had to happen, there's no going around it. You had to tell him about Kevin and you had to tell him about us. I know that it was hard for you and it didn't go how you expected at all but everything's going to be okay. He will get over it." I knew he was right, yet again for the millionth time, but I just couldn't shake the feeling of lost hope in my heart. I haven't felt like this since the moment Jace broke up with me years ago, eventually it went away because I aways knew he could come back and we could fall in love again. This time, it was different. This time, he didn't break up with me, we broke up with each other, knowing there was no going back and no mending our hearts for each other any longer.

"I know, you're right, I just need some time to myself for a little while. I'm exhausted and ready to go back to bed but I want to go home alone tonight, just to think. I'll go straight home, I promise." Raphael cupped my face with his hands and made me look right into his eyes.

"You do whatever you have to do Clare-bear and you know I will support you no matter what. I'll go with Isabelle and Kevin back home and I'll meet you there. I love you." He kissed me lightly and I kissed him back.

"I love you too," I answered. He let go of my face and I walked out the front door of Takis', glad that the day was over and I finally had time to myself. Everyone passing me on the sidewalk looked at me strangely as if they could tell something was bothering me and I didn't doubt it. I knew I looked like pure hell, that my eyes were red rimmed from crying, my shoulders sagged the slightest bit, and my hair was starting to fizz from hands constantly raking through it for the majority of the day. My appearance didn't bother me though and people staring at me like a foreign object didn't faze me either, in New York City this stuff was normal.

The only thing that bothered me at this moment was my heart and the conversation I had with Jace today. I couldn't help but replay it in my mind over and over again, trying to make sense of it all. He looked truly hurt when he found out Raphael and me were together, but why would he if he was just in it to use me again? He was generally happy when he saw me, but when he noticed I came in with Raphael, he looked confused and angry, almost as if he could tell that we weren't just having a friendly chat behind the closed door.

Every time I looked into Jace's eyes all I could see was anger and betrayal, but I never did anything wrong. I was only trying to do what was right. I made it clear to myself that I knew what he would say, it would be, "Why would you do this to me," or "I'm never coming back," but no, he said, "I'm happy for you both." Why would he do that? Why would he try to get me back but when I get with someone else, not try to fight about it? I wanted to know what was going on in his head and I wanted to know what he was feeling. I have to expect the unexpected from Jace from now on because you never knew how things could end up with him. Am I wrong about what Jace is really trying to do and say? Is he still the same loving boy I've known since I was little or has he really changed and I got out before I could get hurt? Who am I kidding, I'm already hurt.

My feet stopped at the front of my apartment building and I looked up to see the top where my apartment was. I wasn't ready to go in but I knew I had to, I needed to rest for my other shift tomorrow.

"Deep slow breaths," I told myself silently so no one could hear. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Raphael with Kevin in his arms a few feet away from me and then I knew. I knew that no matter what I did, nothing could change the fact that I love them and no one could ever take that away from me. I walked up to them and for the first time today, I truly smiled.

**Raphael POV:**

"Hey Kevin, would you like to go to Carson's tomorrow?" I asked him after watching him and Jace play the xbox for a while. Kevin paused the game and looked up at me.

"But me and Jace were going to play tomorrow."

"I'm sure Jace wouldn't mind would you Jace?" I said with a threatening tone that he only shrugged off.

"No, it's okay with me. I was thinking about doing something and I'll just go ahead and do it tomorrow," he said with a cool tone. I probably knew exactly what he was going to do tomorrow and I had a feeling it had a lot to do with boobs and kissing more or less.

After a moment of hesitation, Kevin agreed to go over to Carson's. I wasn't trying to take him away from Jace, I was just trying to help Clary out. I knew she needed some time to think and having Jace and Kevin here together wasn't going to help. She was going to be angry at me for making this decision without her but I knew she would thank me eventually. Jace got up from his spot on the floor and stretched his arms above his head, showing off his abs. Tease, I said to myself.

"Well squirt, your moms shift ends in a few minutes so I better get going and head home. I'll see you soon." He gave Kevin a hug and walked out the back door but not without giving me a death glance. I just smirked at him, knowing he was pissed with me for making Kevin leave tomorrow and taking Clary from him. The truth is, I didn't want to take her away from him because I knew they still loved each other but she wanted to be with me for some odd reason and I didn't completely trust Jace at this time. He needed to face the truth that Clary belonged to no one and he couldn't change that. She didn't belong to him, only her heart did no matter how much I wish I could have saved her from him.

Isabelle walked in after Jace left and plopped down on the couch, ungracefully.

"What I wouldn't give for a week long vacation at the beach right now," she said, putting her arm over her eyes.

"Yeah, you need to work on your tan," I told her. She moved her arm from her face and looked at me with a look that could kill.

"Excuse me?" She asked. I put my hands up in surrender and gave her a look of pure innocence.

"I'm just stating facts," I smiled.

"If the little one wasn't in here I would beat the shit out of you right now." I just rolled my eyes at her threat. In a quite voice she asked, "How is she? I've been in the kitchen and haven't gotten much time to talk to her."

"I'm not sure. I was going to talk to her as soon as Jace left." I was worried about saying that in front of Kevin but he kept on playing silently as if he didn't hear it but I knew he did.

"Well get to it boyfriend, she needs you. I'll watch Kevin." I shook my head in thanks and walked out to see Clary wiping off tables, setting up for night shift crew. She only looked up at me as I leaned against the wall and watched her work. After she was finished, she went over to the bar, sat down, and put her head in her hands in defeat. My heart broke at her pain but I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it so I just left her alone and started to text Kelsey, Carson's mom, to ask her about tomorrow.

Clary got up from her perch and walked up to me as I got the confirmation from Kelsey.

"Hey," she said with a tired voice.

"Hey," I answered. "What's up?" She only sighed and so I said the only thing that I could.

"Clary, what did I tell you? I told you this was going to happen and it had to happen, there's no going around it. You had to tell him about Kevin and you had to tell him about us. I know that it was hard for you and it didn't go how you expected at all but everything's going to be okay. He will get over it." Jace didn't deserve the satisfaction of seeing her hurt and she didn't need to hurt over him. The more hurt she becomes, the more pissed I get at him.

"I know, you're right, I just need some time to myself for a little while. I'm exhausted and ready to go back to bed but I want to go home alone tonight, just to think. I'll go straight home, I promise." I cupped her face and got her to look in my eyes as I carefully said my next words.

"You do whatever you have to do Clare-bear and you know I will support you no matter what. I'll go with Isabelle and Kevin back home and I'll meet you there. I love you." I kissed her lightly and felt myself relax as she kissed me back.

"I love you too," she answered. I let go of her face and she walked out the front door of Takis'. I knew she needed to be alone and get her thoughts straight, it's what I would do if I was in her position. Kevin, Izzy, and I all took the subway home and all I could think about was how lucky I was to have Clary in my life. I didn't deserve her at all but I couldn't help be happy that I did have her with me. She and Kevin made my life brighter everyday.

I knew Clary wasn't upstairs yet so I stopped Kevin before he could start into the building.

"Let's wait out here on mommy," I suggested. He nodded his head and smiled a big grin.

"Yeah, that will make her feel better to let her know we're here for her." I looked up at Izzy and saw her smile at me, walking away from us into the apartment. When Clary arrived, she looked up at the top of the building and closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. I lifted up Kevin and walked up in front of Clary. She opened her eyes and saw us standing in front of her. She began her walk up to us and we all held onto each other, smiling, caught up in the moment.

The rest of the evening consisted of smiles, laughs, and a little argument over Kevin but like I knew said, she got over it. I could tell she finally felt better and knew she wanted to be with me. I could never be Jace but I knew I could try my hardest to try to be everything for her.

**Jace POV:**

I was sitting in my car outside of the club Pandemonium, debating whether I wanted to go in or not. Today was supposed to be the start of something amazing with hope of the future, not complete destruction. I could tell Raphael made Clary happy so he deserved her since I'm the one that broke her heart and got her pregnant at 19. All I would do in her life would be to destroy it and break it down until there's nothing left like last time. She had to start over with her best friend, a full ride to collage, and a baby. All of this was my fault and my stupid decisions that I always seem to make.

I banged my head against the steering wheel a few times before I finally decided I had to do this to loose myself. No matter what happened, I would always love Clary but she didn't have to know that, she could think what she wanted to think, that I was trying to use her. It was the only way for her to get closer to Raphael and not get her hurt. She had to hate me.

I showed my ID to the bouncer and walked into the club, my body already numb from the bass coming off the speakers. I immediately went to the bar and ordered six shots of straight tequila. The bartender looked at me like I was insane but quickly decided to keep his thoughts to himself after I sent him a look. He quickly poured my shots and scooted them all over to me but before he could pull his hands away from the glasses, I was already downing them. No more Clary, no more heartbreak, no more Kevin, no more sorrow, just drunk. I only wanted to be drunk.

For the first time in over a month, my head was spinning and standing up from the bar wasn't doing me any good. I finally found my feet and wobbled to the dance floor. It was no shock to me that I immediately had girls all over me, I just let them do whatever they wanted to with me. One of them was interested in me, a blonde I think. She was gorgeous and had the perfect body with all the curves and moves that turned him on fast. She had a certain way she portrayed herself that made you know she slept around but she was also classy.

"So how about we go to my place?" She whispered in my ear.

"I thought you were never going to ask baby," I answered. Before I left the club with her I thought I saw Sebastian standing in the corner but I quickly shook that out of my head, knowing he was back in LA. The girl called a cab and we quickly got in, not keeping our hands off each other the whole time. I slapped some money down next to the driver and let her lead me to her apartment. We barely made it into the apartment before I had her dress off of her, all thoughts of Clary gone.

**Sebastian POV:**

Well, looks like their breaking themselves up better than I would have expected. Jace was currently drunk and having a little fun with some girls on the dance floor. I laughed to myself at the sight of him broken and trying to get laid. He was always like this when something was bothering him, he was starting to get more and more predictable.

As soon as he found someone that was interested in him, she dragged him off the dance floor and out the door. She was just his type too; drunk, curvy, and a sexy slut. He looked at me for a few seconds before shaking his head, thinking it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. No motherfucker, I'm really here and I'm coming for you soon. The meeting went smooth and the plan was in motion so all we had to do was wait and not much longer with the look of things. I pulled up my contacts on my phone and called my boss.

"Phase one compete," I told him.

"So soon? What did you do?"

"Nothing, they did it to themselves." I could see him nod his head even though I wasn't there to see it.

"Well now it's time to move on to the next part of the plan but don't uncover yourself. We don't need them to know you're back just yet."

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**A/N: This chapter was very very hard to write and I literally came close to crying when I wrote Jace's POV because I'm a baby. It gets worse than this though and I will warn you when it does. We get more of Raphael's POV next chapter and I already have it halfway finished so I'll get it out soon as well. Tell me what you think and if you came close to crying like I did so I know that I'm not the only baby. **

**~DarkMeadows1026 **


	10. Breaking

** A/N: Here comes probably the LONGEST chapter I've ever written in my life but I put details and plot in here that needed to be here. I recommend listening to Trust by Eric James and The New Century after Clary's flashback and during Jace's POV. The lyrics are perfect and I'm not one to listen to music while I read but it's just perfect. Most of you have been anticipating what Sebastian is planning, well, phase one starts at the end ;) See you at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments and I am obsessed with Netflix so bad. Someone help. **

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**Raphael POV:**

As I brush my fingers through Clary's silky curls to sooth myself back to sleep, I started to wonder. Does Clary really not feel as strongly towards Jace like she used to years ago? Will we ever have hopes of a future together? I've pondered these questions in my head ever since we laid down to sleep. Time and time again my heart breaks at the thought of Clary with Jace again. I have been heartbroken before by them together but I can't do it again, can I? It feels just like yesterday when I found out they were dating.

***Flashback***

Everyone is staring at me. Why is everyone staring at me? I know I'm popular and one of the stars of the soccer team so everyone stares but not as much as they are now. It's only the second month of freshman year so there's nothing I've done. I stop dead in my tracks, thinking it's something Jace has done. I shook my head at the thought. No, Jace is my best friend and has been since kindergarden. There's no way on this earth he would ever do something to hurt me.

"Hey man, wait up!" I heard Jace call from behind me. I breathed a sigh of relief that he was here looking for me and not somewhere else up to no good. I've had to get him out of a few bad situations in my life and I know for fact that when he's not with me, he's in trouble.

I turned around and stood in the middle of the hallway, ignoring the now growing stares of my classmates. The feeling of relief I felt just moments before was fading as I saw the look on Jace's face. I knew what that look meant and it meant trouble.

"Can we go somewhere and, you know, talk?" He asked me. I knew that he didn't want to deliver bad news to me in the middle of the school hallway with everyone latching on to every word so I just shook my head and took the lead to the parking lot with Jace behind me. That was another sign that something was wrong. He never walked behind me no matter what the situation was.

We approached my car and I leaned against it, facing towards Jace. He kept fumbling with his hands and didn't make eye contact with me for some time. When he finally looked up into my eyes I motioned my hands for him to begin talking but the only thing he could do was open and close his mouth a few times.

"Jace, the only way I can forgive you is if you tell the truth and apologize. I know you have something horrible to tell me but I'll take it whatever it is and forgive you. You know I will." He looked up at me wearing a straight expression on his face.

"You won't forgive me for this," He said.

"How do you know if you've not told me what it is?" I asked. He shook his head and took a deep breath.

"Listen, no matter what you say or think right now, you're not going to think in a second. I thought I might as well tell you now before someone else does. I just couldn't have imagined ending our friendship with someone else telling you and not me. I'm not a coward."

"I know you're not a coward Jace but you're losing me here. What is so bad that I won't forgive you?" I laughed.

"Clary and I are in a relationship," he said, looking at his hands. I could feel my face losing its playful expression and my heart thumping loud in my ears.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, hoping I had heard wrong.

He looked up at me, straight in my eyes and said, once again, "Me and Clary are in a relationship."

I felt dizzy and almost lost my composure before I realized I can't let him see me break down. Almost all my life I have trusted him with everything and he was always a brother to me. We did so much together that you would almost think us the same. The only thing we didn't have in common was Clary. Jace has picked on and hated Clary for as long as I could remember. He's always made his hate clear towards her while I've always made mine clear, that I was in love with her. She knew I loved her more than just the best friends we were but never stopped talking to me or being there for me. It wasn't awkward between us at all and she accepted the fact that I wanted her and only her.

"How long has this been going on and when did this start?" I asked him wanting to know some details before I go into a fit of rage.

"Remember the party Isabelle threw not too long ago? The one you didn't want to go to?" I nodded my head knowing exactly the party he was talking about. "Well, that night I had no intentions of getting with Clary, I swear to it, but it just kind of happened. We didn't do anything serious we just made out for a long time and it was like nothing I've ever experienced with a girl before. I know I've hooked up with a lot of girls but never one like Clary and I feel just sort of drawn to her, like a bug. Ever since the party I couldn't stop thinking about her so yesterday I asked her out and she said yes but I didn't want to do this until I told you." I blinked a few times before answering.

"Nothing serious? You did nothing serious? Making out isn't serious to you, really? Drawn to her? I have never heard so much bull shit in my life before and I should have known this would happen with you. You have known all these years I've loved her and you take her from me because of one little hook up that wasn't supposedly serious? You've got to be shitting me right now."

He looked at the ground with his shoulders slumped, looking defeated. That's what I felt like on the inside at the moment but I didn't want him to know that. All of a sudden he stood up straight and defiant, not straying his eyes from mine.

"I get it Raphael, I really do, but if you're going to keep chasing after a girl that you haven't event tried to get closer too, then I will." He started to turn away but not without calling out over his shoulder, "And by the way, I'm going to enjoy every damn minute of my time with her."

***End of Flashback***

Sighing heavily, I strung my arm protectively around Clary and pulled her to me, kissing her temple. She sighed in her sleep and had a faint smile on her face as she unconsciously snuggled up to me. I couldn't help but feel happy that we were here now, together. This was something I have been waiting on since kindergarten and never gave up hope and my feelings never lessened no matter how hard I tried.

The day Jace told me about their relationship was the day my heart broke from the first time of not only losing my best friend, but my love. I knew I could have never given up soccer to stay away from him but I did try my best to stop having classes with him.

Even though Clary chooses to be with him, my heart wouldn't accept it and I never stopped being best friends with Clary. She was the one that reached out with her soft heart and tried to get us back together but it never worked out and now, we definitely won't get back together.

Losing my best friend in high school meant losing all my other 'friends' that we had since he was the popular one and I was one of the tag alongs. As a result, I did one of the best decisions of my life. I made friends with the openly gay sophomore, and Jace hater, Magnus Bane. Since then I've gotten closer to Alec and had a better experience with friends, though I keep myself more guarded with them than I did with Jace. Now Clary was the only one that knew all my secrets, one of them being that I was madly in love with her and wanted our relationship to grow further.

After having a long internal battle with myself I finally came to a conclusion. I know where my life needs to be and who I want to live it with so I would try my best to keep Clary happy and if she wants to go back with Jace, I'll let her go if that's what she wants. But as long as she wants to be with me, I will protect her and love her and keep her as far away from Jace as I can because right now, she's mine and I'm enjoying every damn minute of it.

**Clary POV:**

"Kevin, stop eating like a pig!" I complained as Kevin was drinking the milk leftover from his cereal, making the milk get on the table more than his mouth.

"But Raphael's doing it too!" He whined after putting the bowl back down, in the puddle of milk. I looked up at Raphael who was currently leaning against the sink, drinking his milk that was currently falling on the floor. He put the bowl down slowly, giving me a weak smile and frightened eyes that I was going to hurt him. I was going to hurt him, bad, but after seeing his face covered in the white liquid, all I could do was laugh.

"What's so funny?" Raphael asked me.

"Your face," I said between laughing and taking a breath.

"Hey now, I don't think my face is that ugly," he said with fake hurt in his tone. I walked up to him after composing myself, grabbed a towel, and wiped away the milk from his mouth like I would do to Kevin. After I finished I kissed him lightly for a few seconds and looked up at him.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too but that doesn't mean you two aren't going to clean this mess up. You better get to it!" I walked away and up to my room to get ready for work but not without hearing them moan in protest.

"Babies," I said under my breath, walking up to my closet to put on my clothes. After putting on my uniform and touching up my hair and make-up, I walked into Izzy's room to see if she was ready.

"Hey, are you almost done?" She had a picture in her hand and her eyes close to spilling over with tears. "What's wrong Isabelle?" I asked her, walking up to her and putting my hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if my mom and dad never adopted Jace?" Confused, I looked over her shoulder and got a glimpse of the picture before she put it away. I gasped at what she had hidden away all these years. The picture was of me and Jace, when we were five, the day we first met on the swing set near my house in Minnesota.

***Flashback***

My brother and I went to the playground that day since school was starting soon and we wanted to spend it playing outside before fall came. Jonathan decided to go play with his friend, leaving me alone by myself on the petite playground. I was always reliant on my older brother so when I wanted to swing, I couldn't because I didn't know how to swing by myself. Being small for my age, the slide always scared me because it looked so scary looking down upon it and I didn't want to do that.

After a while, I just decided to walk over to the bench looking out over the park and watched all the kids play together when I was left alone. Seeing their smiling faces made me cry because when I was little, it hurt my feelings to know that no one wanted to be my friend.

But then, after what seemed like hours, I heard him. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and looked up to see my mom's best friend, Maryse, and her children coming to the playground. My mom told me that they were supposed to be getting a boy my age today but I didn't care because no one liked me except Jonathan and Isabelle.

Isabelle and Alec ran off playing tag together and the little boy started to look uncomfortable, and quite angry, standing there alone next to the kind woman. His eyes searched the playground for a few minutes before they finally met my red-rimmed ones. I didn't want him to make fun of me for crying so I pulled my legs to my chest and my head on my knees.

My whole body trembled with a full wave of tears as I could hear someone's quite footsteps approaching. I was hoping to myself that they would just leave me alone and go away but I didn't get any luck.

"Why are you crying?" I heard someone ask. Not wanting to be mean, I lifted my head and saw the Lightwoods new son standing in front of me. My eyes widened in fear that he was only here to make fun of me and hurt my feelings but when he saw the fear in my eyes, his golden ones softened.

"I'm not going to hurt you, don't be scared. My name is Jace Wayland and I just moved here. You look so sad and alone and I am too so would you like to be my new friend? We don't have to worry about being alone anymore." I just smiled and nodded my head while I took his outstretched hand and we ran to the swings. Jace got on a swing and started to swing but stopped when he noticed I just stood there watching him.

"Aren't you going to get on?" he asked me.

"No, I don't know how to swing," I said silently with more tears staring to form in my eyes from humiliation. He quickly got off his swing and came up to me, giving me a hug.

"What was that for?" I asked him.

"Because my mommy always gave me a hug when I felt bad and it made me feel better. Did it make you feel better?"

"Yes, it did." I smiled and wiped away the drying tears from my face.

"Don't worry, I can help you. I'll push you while you swing but just for today okay? Tomorrow you can come back and I'll teach you how to swing really high," he exclaimed with a sparkle in his eyes. "You never told me your name," he said.

"Clary," I told him.

"Hmmm, I think I like red better can I call you red?" Even though it was making fun of my hair, I nodded my head yes anyway because he was my friend now and he could call me anything he wanted. I hopped on the swing and wrapped my hands around the chain, waiting for him to push me. My body rested in a tense position because I was afraid he would push me too hard and I would fall off.

"Relax," he whispered in my ear. "I'm not going to hurt you." With his promise I relaxed and he began pushing slowly until I was high in the air, giggling the whole time. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't see Maryse take a picture of us both laughing at how high I could go. When he stopped and I was back on the ground, I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," I said while his cheeks turned a shade of red. "I'll see you tomorrow." I walked away and back to my house before it got dark.

***End of Flashback***

My eyes drifted to the floor and I closed my eyes, remembering the lightweight feeling of being swung in the sky.

"I forgot all about that," I finally said. "Maryse told me that was the first day he ever acknowledged anyone in over a few months."

"Yeah, it's funny how sometimes we forget something so innocent and memorable," she said. After that day, I went back to the playground but he was playing with Alec and another boy, Raphael. He invited me over to play with them so I did because I trusted that he would make sure they didn't hurt me. Raphael and I played together while Alec and Jace did but Jace kept looking at us with a hateful expression. That was the last day he ever said anything nice to me until high school.

"He was so jealous of you and Raphael. Every time he would come home after going to the playground, he would go straight to his room and lock the door. I know he got over it eventually but even as a little kid he still loved you. In fact, I think the only reason he ever dated all those other girls and pushed you away was because he loved you the whole time and didn't know it. I know you still love him Clary but something is holding you back. Something is telling you no and you know more than anything that your heart says yes. Open your eyes and realize that you're not the only one that's hurting. I've known Jace for years and I watched your relationship from the outside as well as watching you and Raphael and I know for fact that you're not nearly as happy as you were with Jace."

"Don't you think that I know that?" I said, finally speaking my true feelings. "Don't you think that every time I'm with Raphael that it's not enough and it never will be? Don't you think that every time I wake up, I wish I was looking into golden eyes instead of brown?" I said pleadingly.

She looked at me with a stone cold expression and acid dripping from her voice. "Then do something about it." She walked out of the room and slammed the front door on her way out of the apartment. I let out a long breath and sat on her bed before I took the picture from her nightstand and walked out of the room.

"What was that about?" Raphael asked me, sitting on the couch with Kevin in his lap.

I rolled my eyes and had a weak smile on my face trying to play it off. "Nothing, she's just in a bad mood." It wasn't completely a lie but not the whole truth either. Raphael got up from the couch and grabbed Kevin's duffel bag, walking over to me. He gave me a quick kiss and let Kevin give me a hug before they went over to Carson's.

"I'll meet you at the diner," Raphael called over his shoulder. I grabbed a water from the fridge and grabbed my purse, waking out the front door, hoping to get rid of all these thoughts on the way to work.

**Jace POV:**

I was lying on the couch in my apartment with boxes still unpacked, furniture not arranged, and the sunlight pouring into my new studio apartment. My stomach was in knots from all the alcohol I consumed and my head pounded every time I would make a move. Last night was not a part of my 'good deeds' list but it did make me feel a little better and judging by how the girl - Callie I think? - was having a good time too. Not to mention I was as drunk as a skunk.

This morning when I woke up in her apartment, we were both hung over but she was nice so I promised to take her out today and get to know her better. I've decided if Clary can date someone, then I can too. Thank the angel I used protection though because I really would not like to have another clone of me running around.

I rolled over and onto the floor in attempt to get up before my date that started in an hour. I was on the floor but at least it was a start. She wanted to meet at my place since this side of town was where she wanted to eat at some diner near here but I wasn't really paying attention to that either.

All day I have been asking myself the same question. Why? Why did Clary have to run off with someone else when we were doing so well? I thought everything was great and that I would have another chance but no, I didn't get that. The poor excuse of a best friend I used to have got to have her and not the boy that loved her more. I knew I was the one that loved her more since Raphael never could seem to keep his thoughts to himself. I guess that's what really angered me in the end. He wanted her but not enough to have her the right way.

"Damn it," I said while pushing a stack of boxes on the floor, hearing the fragile items shatter. I kept throwing any stray object and hurdled it at the wall. After repeating this a few times I slid to the floor and my body heaved with sobs. I tried to hold it in but after my few attempts I just couldn't anymore. My body felt weak as I laid there hopeless and broken on the floor. The pounding in my head grew worse and my stomach started turning but I didn't care. All I wanted was Clary but right now, that could never happen.

I tried so hard to contain myself and not run to beat the absolute shit out of Raphael but there was no way I could do that. If he made her happy when I didn't anymore, so be it.

"Get yourself together and stop being a pussy," I spoke aloud, hoping I would get the point across to myself that I needed to move on. I closed my eyes one last time and imagined those red curls and that beautiful smile. I could hear her giggle and see her running, taunting me to chase her so I did and when I caught her, I never wanted to let her go but I did, and that's when I opened my eyes. The stress in my body felt reduced and I was content for now, knowing I needed to get ready for my date.

Maybe I shouldn't be getting into this so fast but I needed to heal somehow even if this wouldn't work. The only problem was that Clary would think I was moving on but I wasn't. I was far from ever forgetting her.

***The Light of Destruction***

An hour later I was in my light blue T-shirt, khaki shorts, and freshly showered. I had to give it to myself, I looked like I had walked out of a Hollister magazine. The only thing missing was my gray Vanns but I couldn't seem to find them. I looked in every box that had my clothes in it but they were gone even though I remembered packing them.

I started to panic as I heard a knock on the door but I played it off and pretended like I had everything under control. My hand slowly twisted the knob like it was taunting me. My arm couldn't move to open the door as if I had no control over my body. I started to feel my heart throb in pain but I fought through it and opened the door. I didn't care that I knew being with someone was wrong, it was the only way.

"Hey," I said as I looked down into her blue eyes. I didn't have to look down too far since she was fairly tall, nothing like Clary.

"Hey," she giggled. I gave her my winning smile and opened the door for her to come in.

"You weren't kidding about the mess," she said.

"No, I made it worse just a few minutes ago trying to find my shoes," I told her, giving her half of a lie half of a truth to cover up the real reason it was a mess.

"Well I can see why they're missing," she giggled. "I'll help you, what do they look like?"

"They're grey Vann's. I checked all my boxes of clothes but couldn't find them."

"Then let's start in here. You do the right side of the room and I'll do the left." We both went over to start on unpacking the boxes silently for a while but she eventually spoke up.

"I know we didn't get off on the right foot but I'm Camille Belcourt," She said while reaching out her hand.

"Jace Wayland," I told her while shaking her outstretched hand. The gesture of shaking her hand made me have a feeling of Deja vu but I wasn't sure why.

"So Jace, what brings you to New York?" My face fell for a second but I didn't want to let her know the real reason I was here.

"My job. I'm a professional soccer player and I'm playing for NYU."

"Really? That's so cool. My older brother played football for NYU and he loved it."

"Yeah," was all I could say. I wished we would get on another subject because this really wasn't helping right now.

"Hey! Are these your shoes?" I looked up at her, hoping they were so I could get this date over with. Luckily they were but I had no idea why they were in the box of my games though. I slipped them on and we headed out into the windy night.

"Do you have a jacket?" She asked me.

"No, I'm from Minnesota so the cold doesn't really bother me."

"Wow, you guys get a lot of snow up there don't you?"

"Yeah, it got a little annoying at first but eventually grew on me."

"It sounds like you only lived there for a part of your life." Oh no. I didn't want to tell her I was adopted but I didn't want to lie and say my parents moved me out there.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," she told me.

"It's okay I just had to move up there when I was five." I gave her as little information as possible. She just nodded her head and stopped, bringing us to our destination.

"This is where I came the other day with a friend of mine. It's really good so I thought this would be a good place to eat." I looked up and noticed the name of the diner. Taki's. Well, there's no getting out of this now. Clary's shift should end soon so hopefully we won't get her table. I followed Camille into the cozy diner where just a mere 24 hours ago I was spending time with Kevin. She slid us into a booth and I sat across from her, watching her look at the menu. She had such blue eyes and pretty blonde hair but a certain defiance behind her demeanor that was probably the reason that I choose her last night.

"What are you looking at?" She asked me.

"Your eyes," I told her, giving her a smirk. She just smiled and continued looking at the menu.

"Do you know what you want?" I asked.

"Probably a steak, you?"

"Burger." She just rolled her eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Typical guy getting a burger and fries. Let me guess, are you getting a beer with that?" She had a certain sparkle in her eyes when she mentioned the alcoholic beverage that made me chill.

"Not today, baby." I wasn't quite ready to drink again after the glorious day I had today. We sat in a comfortable silence for a while before our waitress, an older woman, came to take our order. I placed my order but looked around the diner quickly, looking for Clary. Did she even come to work today? But then I saw her red curls as she came out of the kitchen carrying food to a table and on her way back in, got a quick kiss from Raphael. I felt sick.

"Do you know them?" Camille asked me.

"It's complicated."

"Complicated how?" I wished she wouldn't pry but after talking to her I felt like I could trust her.

"I've known them since kindergarten and my sister works here as well." Her eyes widened.

"You all moved to New York together? Wow you guys must have been close seeing as you're not talking to them." I just looked down at my hands and muttered a weak agreement.

"Look, I don't mean to pry, I'm studying to be a therapist so this is sort of my thing so trust me, I get it. I grew up with parents that stayed together but didn't love each other and didn't even try to hide it when they went out with other people. I'm still not sure why they stayed together."

"Sounds like some bullshit." She laughed.

"It was." We talked while waiting on our food and I found out a little more about her. She was going on her last year of college, like me, and had an older brother that she was very close with. I told her the basics of my family and that I was adopted but she didn't pity me so that's when I knew I liked her.

Our food came but we didn't really notice since we were laughing so hard.

"Let me get this straight," she said. "You ripped up your sisters favorite dress and as payback she dyed your hair pink?"

"Yes, it was horrible. I didn't go to school for three days so no one could see my with my pink hair but I'm pretty sure she got a picture.

"I would love to see that picture. You know, now that you mention it, you would look good with pink hair."

"No, I'm not going through that again." She giggled and looked at her food.

"We never even ate."

"It's okay; I can waste money on this. It was worth it," I told her while smiling at her.

"That's sweet." I chuckled since I knew I was anything but sweet.

"You know, for a hook-up this ended way better than most of the other men I've been with."

"Well of course it did, I'm perfect." She giggled and pointed at me.

"You, Jace, are too conceited for your own good."

"I know." I laid down money to cover the bill and a tip then helped her out of the booth.

"How kind of you," she said sarcastically.

"What? Am I not being the perfect gentleman because I would beg to differ." She rolled her eyes at my statement.

"You're something else," she looked at her phone before looking at me in alarm. "I was supposed to be at my friend's house half an hour ago and I hate to bail but she'll get worried." I shrugged it off.

"It's alright; I need to unpack tonight anyway." She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek, giving me another sense of Deja vu again.

"Thank you," she said before she hurried out into the busy streets. I was about to walk out myself but not before seeing Clary staring right at me. I wondered how long she'd been standing there or how long she saw me and Camille together but I just nodded my head and walked out.

**Sebastian POV:**

The wind nipped at the base of my neck as I pulled my jacket tighter around me.

"Hurry up, dammit," I cursed, waiting for Jace's new toy to come out of the diner. Once she gave him a kiss goodbye, making me gag, she hurried out and down the street. I followed behind her as she took a short cut in an alley, just my luck. I got up behind her and slammed her into the nearest wall, close to her face.

"What do you want?" She asked me, fear dripping from her voice.

"Listen little girl you have no idea what you're getting into but you're about to find out," I pressed her harder into the wall making her gasp. "From now on we will meet here every Saturday at seven do you understand?" She nodded her head. "Good, now it's simple what I want you to do. Keep Jace interested and away from the red head you saw today got it? As long as you do that then maybe I'll spare your life. Don't play any tricks though honey because if you do, I'll know. Am I understood?" She shook her head again, in a daze.

I let go of her and told her to get out of my sight, watching her sprint down the alley. Once she was gone I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, feeling at ease as soon as I took a drag.

"Well played Sebastian," One of my boss's employers told me. He was standing in the shadows making sure everything went according to plan.

"That was nothing," I told him.

"True. Can I borrow one?" I handed him over a cig and lit it for him. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"So what happens now?" He asked.

"We watch and wait. Boss is supposed to be having men on her at all times so all we have to do is wait for his orders and come here every weekend." He nodded his head. I looked out into the night sky, not able to see the stars but I imagined them there looking down at me.

"Let's go. I've got shit to do." I walked away with the guard trailing behind me.

* * *

**A/N: Was this what you expected? I thought about splitting this chapter into two parts but I thought hey, why not make it one since it sheds some light on a few things. I have a little question to ask: Do you like the flashbacks? I personally love them and most of them are a must but if you want more I can add more just let me know. Is it just me or is Jace a little bit jealous? Maybe a lot jealous if you ask me but maybe it's just me. **

**Greygirl2358: Glad to know you were smiling and laughing. Now I don't have to hunt you down. Exactly! You know exactly what's going on and I hope I did their POV's justice today. Sebastard? Every time I read that I think of constipation but I have no clue why. Just thought I'd put that out there. Yes, we will find out who his boss really is so calm yourself! I don't like being in the dark so I'm not going to do it to you guys. **

**CodeBlue19: You made me smile, you know that? I know how you feel because I get conflicted too and I didn't expect this to have such a Clary/Raphael relationship it just kind of, happened I guess. Isn't that what they all say though? I'm bad at short and simple too because I like to get in all the details and make sure I'm not missing anything. That's why this chapter was so darn long. **

**Okay guys! Make my email blow up by in the morning letting me know I have more reviews and favorites and follows because it really makes my day! I will have to start updating every weekend instead of twice a week because I need to start getting really into the story and making the chapters good and ready for you guys which I have ButteryHighlights to thank for that. Thank you for reading this big long chapter I know you all have been waiting on! Until next time! **

**~DarkMeadows1026**


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